And sometimes I believe your relentless analysis of June leaves something out, which is your feeling for her beyond knowledge, or in spite of knowledge. I often see how you sob over what you destroy, how you want to stop and just worship; and you do stop, and then a moment later you are at it again with a knife, like a surgeon.What will you do after you have revealed all there is to know about June? Truth. What ferocity in your quest of it. You destroy and you suffer. In some strange way I am not with you, I am against you. We are destined to hold two truths. I love you and I fight you. And you, the same. We will be stronger for it, each of us, stronger with our love and our hate. When you caricature and nail down and tear apart, I hate you. I want to answer you, not with weak or stupid poetry but with a wonder as strong as your reality. I want to fight your surgical knife with all the occult and magical forces of the world.
I want to move my hands, but they__e fused to his rib cage. I feel his lung span, his heartbeat, his very life force wrapped in these flimsy bars of bone. So fragile yet so solid. Like a brick wall with wet mortar. A juxtaposition of hard and soft.He inhales again. __ayme,_ he says my name with a mix of sigh and inquiry.I open my eyes and peer into his flushed face. Roses have bloomed on his ruddy cheeks and he looks as though he__ raced the wind.__m?_ I reply. My mind is full of babble, I__ so high.__ayme,_ he__ insistent, almost pleading. __hat are you?__nstantaneous is the cold alarm that douses the flames still dancing in my heart. I feel the nervousness that whispers through me like a cool breeze in the leaves.__hat do you mean?_ I ask, the disquiet wringing the strength from my voice.__t doesn__ hurt anymore,_ he explains, inhaling deeply.I feel the line of a frown between my brows. Gingerly, I lift the hem of his shirt. And as sure as I am that the world is round and that the sky is, indeed, blue the bruises and welts on his torso have faded to nothingness, the golden tan of his skin is sun-kissed perfection. Panic has me frozen as I stare.__ don__ understand,_ I whisper.He looks down at his exposed abdomen. __ think you healed me.__e says it so simply, but my mind takes his words and scatters them like ashes. I feel like I__ waking from a coma and I have amnesia and everyone speaks Chinese.I can__ speak. If I had the strength to, I wouldn__ have the words. I feel the panic flood into me and fear spiked adrenaline courses through me, I shove him. Hard. Eyes wide with shock, he stumbles back a few steps. A few steps is all I need. Fight or flight instinct taking root, I fight to flee. The space between us gives me enough room to slide out from between him and the car.He shouts my name. It__ too late. I__ running a fast as my lithe legs will carry me. My Converse pound the sidewalk and I hear the roar of his engine. It__ still too late. I grew up here and I__ ten blocks from home. No newbie could track me in my own neighborhood. In my town. Not with my determination to put as much distance as I can between me and the boy who scares the shit out of me. Not when I__e scared the shit out of myself. I run. I run and I don__ stop.
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I want to move my hands, but they__e fused to his rib cage. I feel his lung span, his heartbeat, his very life force wrapped in these flimsy bars of bone. So fragile yet so solid. Like a brick wall with wet mortar. A juxtaposition of hard and soft.He inhales again. __ayme,_ he says my name with a mix of sigh and inquiry.I open my eyes and peer into his flushed face. Roses have bloomed on his ruddy cheeks and he looks as though he__ raced the wind.__m?_ I reply. My mind is full of babble, I__ so high.__ayme,_ he__ insistent, almost pleading. __hat are you?__nstantaneous is the cold alarm that douses the flames still dancing in my heart. I feel the nervousness that whispers through me like a cool breeze in the leaves.__hat do you mean?_ I ask, the disquiet wringing the strength from my voice.__t doesn__ hurt anymore,_ he explains, inhaling deeply.I feel the line of a frown between my brows. Gingerly, I lift the hem of his shirt. And as sure as I am that the world is round and that the sky is, indeed, blue the bruises and welts on his torso have faded to nothingness, the golden tan of his skin is sun-kissed perfection. Panic has me frozen as I stare.__ don__ understand,_ I whisper.He looks down at his exposed abdomen. __ think you healed me.__e says it so simply, but my mind takes his words and scatters them like ashes. I feel like I__ waking from a coma and I have amnesia and everyone speaks Chinese.I can__ speak. If I had the strength to, I wouldn__ have the words. I feel the panic flood into me and fear spiked adrenaline courses through me, I shove him. Hard. Eyes wide with shock, he stumbles back a few steps. A few steps is all I need. Fight or flight instinct taking root, I fight to flee. The space between us gives me enough room to slide out from between him and the car.He shouts my name. It__ too late. I__ running a fast as my lithe legs will carry me. My Converse pound the sidewalk and I hear the roar of his engine. It__ still too late. I grew up here and I__ ten blocks from home. No newbie could track me in my own neighborhood. In my town. Not with my determination to put as much distance as I can between me and the boy who scares the shit out of me. Not when I__e scared the shit out of myself. I run. I run and I don__ stop.
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