I'd never be where I am if more successful writers hadn't taken an interest in me and done me a good turn.

It__ amazing how just dressing differently can affect your influence; dress like a beggar and your assumed poverty gains you looks of contempt; dress in gold-lined robes and people are more willing to accommodate you; sport armour and you look strong, dutiful, and prepared.

Narcissism is as profitable to a model as scruffiness is to a homeless person.

A friend once told me "Michael, if you were a villain, you'd be the Joker," to which I replied, "no, dear friend - if the Joker were a villain, he'd be ME.

If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they__e happy.

Every difficulty is an opportunity for personal growth.