Cathy Burnham Martin

When we make the decisions to be and stay in love, we should also make a decision and commitment to be supportive.

If we are sharing challenges and concerns, laughter and life stories, dreams and dramas with someone other than our mate, we are making precious, intimate connections with someone other than our mate. We need to keep not only physical, but emotional and intellectual connections strong and active with our beloved.

It takes a strong woman to tolerate a weak man. That said, it takes a strong man to tolerate a weak woman, too.

Without trust, our relationships lack an essential ingredient for emotional intimacy. We need to be able to totally trust our partner with our deepest thoughts, dreams, fears, and secrets.

Some people think that it__ okay to be downright nasty to people they love. It is not okay. Nasty is never called for, and it__ certainly not sweet, useful, nor positive.

Sexy is a decision. We decide that our spouse looks sexy to us. Period. It doesn__ matter our age or how long we__e been together.

If a man or a woman starts __xpecting_ sex, then it is no longer special, and a lover will likely start to feel used.

Most single people are sick of married people presenting themselves as both available and interested, when indeed they are merely __laying._ Oh, yeah_ and cheating. Gee, that is attractive. Not! Others could not care less what someone__ marital status might be.

Direct lies, small lies, huge lies, and lies of omission_ these are all self-serving and sources of self-destruction.

Past misdeeds must only serve as a reference point in calm conversation about lessons learned or actions that taught us to behave better. They should never be bantered about with sarcasm, anger, or nastiness.

Actively repeating a lie or denial does not make it true.

In truth, if it isn__ to save your life when it__ in imminent danger, someone yelling at you is just plain wrong. The same is true for ranting or bitching. The same goes double for anything even close to manhandling.

There is tremendous trauma in the betrayal caused by a perpetual liar as they repeatedly commit psychological abuse.

Extra-marital affairs become things of legend_ and often the undoing of legends_ and mere mortals.

Some people believe that if they yell and scream, others will get the point of just how serious they are. For me, all I get is the point of just how out of control that someone is.

When we resort to screaming at someone, we are revealing weakness and a sense of helplessness. If we can__ seem to get our message or feelings across any other way, then we get angry, and we get loud!

I think we need to develop a powerful dose of tolerance to understand each other__ humanness. None of us is perfect.

We never want to be taken for granted, but our partners should be able to expect our honest loyalty. That is a powerfully strong foundation block for a relationship. I want to meet the greatest expectations, without being the greatest fraud.