Rachel Caine

I'm your worst damn nightmare, Skeletor. I'm a vampire killer with fangs and a grudge.

You know," I said to Michael, "my girlfriend took him down with a broken tree branch." "Too bad she isn't here," he said.

There were a few things scarier than a bipolar vampire off his meds, but to be honest, not that many.

I need to be a vampire," she said. "and I want one of them to make it happen. Michael will do fine. I don't care who turns me. The important thing is that if I change, I'll be a princess."I was wrong. She was really crazy.

Shane: "Bro," he said, in an injured tone, "I had to go out with a flamethrower, and you weren't there to see it." Michael: "Pics or it didn't happen." Shane: "Dude, little busy for pics. You know, throwing flame.

Well,_ Naomi said cheerfully, __hat__ the worst that can happen?_ They were silent, considering that, because there were just so many possibilities. But in the end, it was a better idea than Facebook.

Get in here and make me some dinner__ow, woman.""News flash, Michael, you're supposed to be evil, not redneck!

Doorman: Good morning Mr. PeaknisMr. P.: Go to hell

Afternoons are hard. Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don't do them anymore.

You're kidding, right?" Shane asked. "You don't need caffeine. You need sleep." He held out the last cup, and Claire realized she'd been wrong; there was someone else in the shadows. Deeper in the shadows even than Oliver had been.Myrnin.He looked completely different to her now, and not just because he wasn't crazy anymore. He'd remembered how to dress himself, for one thing; gone were the costume coats and Mardi Gras beads and flip-flops. He had on a gray knit shirt, black pants, and a jacket that looked a bit out of period, but not as much as before.All clean. He even had shoes on."Yes, you must sleep," he agreed, as he accepted the cup and tried the coffee. "I've gone to far too much trouble to train up another apprentice at this late date. We have work to do, Claire. Good, hard work. Some of it may even earn you accolades, once you leave Morganville."She smiled slowly. "You'll never let me leave."Myrnin's dark eyes fixed on hers. "Maybe I will," he said. "But you must give me at least a few more years, my friend. I have a great deal to learn from you, and I am a very slow learner.

His smile was bright and sweet and hot enough to melt solid steel. "Is this the part where I kiss you?""If you like.""Oh," he said, "I like.

Claire started to follow, but Shane's grip on her arm had tightened, and he was holding her back."What?" she asked, and turned to face him. God, he looked amazing. He needed to let Eve dress him all the time."Before we go in," he said, and bent and kissed her. Claire distantly heard the whistles and catcalls of the shot drinkers -- distantly, because the kiss was sweet and hot and wild, and there was something crazy in it that made her just quiver i

She felt as wild and free as a little kid, running up the steps with Shane in hot pursuit, and when he grabbed her around the waist and spun her around into his room and kicked the door shut, she squealed in delight. And wiggled to fit herself against his warm, hard body as she kissed him again, breathless and flying.He kissed like their lives depended on it. Like it was an Olympic event and he intended to earn a medal. Somewhere in the back of her head she was chattering to herself, warning that this was going to go too far, that she was just making things worse for both of them, but she couldn't help it. Before long they were stretched out together on Shane's bed, and his big, warm hands were teasing under the hem of her shirt, stroking the fluttering skin of her stomach and stealing her breath. She lost it all when he spread his fingers out, pressing his palm flat against her, and she felt an almost irresistible impulse to feel those hands all over. Everywhere. Her heart was hammering hard enough to make her dizzy, and it was all just so ...Perfect.

Claire tipped her head back, and this time he found her lips. It was, she thought, supposed to be a fast and sweet little kiss, but somehow it slowed down, got warmer and deeper. His lips were damp and soft as silk, and that was such a contrast to the hard lines of his body pressed against her. The strength of his hands sliding around her waist and pulling her even closer. She heard him growl low in his throat, a wild and hungry sound that made her go weak and faint.He broke the kiss and leaned against her, breathing hard. "Good morning to you too. Man, I just can't stay mad when you do that.""Do what?" she asked innocently. She didn't feel innocent. She also didn't feel sixteen-nearly-seventeen, not at all. Shane always made her feel older. Much older. Ready for anything. It was a good thing Shane wasn't as dumb as her hormones seemed to be."Unless you want to stay home and cut class, we don't really have time to talk about it," he said, and waggled his eyebrows. "So. Wanna cut class and make out?

We should do this on computer," she said, chalking it carefully for the eighty-ninth time. "With a drawing pad.""Nonsense. You're lucky I don't make you inscribe it with a stylus on a wax tablet, like the old days," Myrnin snorted. "Children. Spoiled children, always playing with the shinest toy.""Computers are more efficient!""I can perform calculations on that abacus faster than you can solve them on your computer," Myrnin sneered.Okay, now he was pissing her off. "Prove it!""What?""Prove it." She backed off on her tone, but Myrnin wasn't looking angry; he was looking strangely interested. He stared at her for a second in silence, and then he got the biggest, oddest smile she'd ever seen on the face of a vampire."All right," he said. "A contest. Computer versus abacus."She wasn't at all sure now that was a good idea, even if it had been her idea, essentially. "Um -- what do I win?" More importantly, what do I lose? Making bargains was a way of life in Morganville, and it was a lot like making deals with man-eating fairies. Better be careful what you ask for."Your freedom," he said solemnly. His eyes were wide and guileless, his too-young face shining with honesty. "I will tell Amelie you were not suited to the work. She'll let you go about your life, such as it is."Good prize. Too good. Claire swallowed hard. "And if I lose?""Then I eat you," Myrnin said.

Claire scraped her chair back, walked over to the cordless phone lying on the counter, and dialed from the business card still stuck to the refrigerator with a magnet. Four rings, and a cheerful voice answered on the other end and announced she__ reached Common Grounds. __i,__ Claire said. __an I talk to Sam, please?____am? Hold on.__ The phone clattered, and Claire could hear the buzz of activity in the background__ilk being steamed, people chatting, the usual excitement of a busy coffee shop. She waited, jittering one leg impatiently, until the voice came back on the line. __orry,__ it said. __e__ not here tonight. I think he went to the party.____he party?____ou know, the zombie frat party? Epsilon Epsilon Kappa? The Dead Girls_ Dance?____hanks,__ Claire said. She hung up and turned to face Michael and Eve, who were staring at her in outright surprise. She held up the phone. __he power of technology. Embrace it.

Survival," I said softly. "It's selfish, and it's dark, and we've always been a species willing to do anything to satisfy our needs. Individuals have morals. Mobs have appetites.

Don't play his game. Play yours.