and I told myself -- as I've told myself before -- that the body shuts down then the pain gets too bad, that consciousness is temporary, that this will pass. But just like always, I didn't slip away. I was left on the shore with the waves washing over me, unable to drown.
When I was younger I thought going through something rough would be fun, or uplifting somehow. That sounds odd, but it was how everyone portrayed terrible things. You go through this horrid experience, and suddenly you__e a better person. I wanted that; everyone wants to be a better person.Now, though, after all of this, I realized that wasn__ true. Not all the time, at least. Suffering didn__ make a person stronger. It didn__ make character, or mold someone into a better part of themselves.It could__on__ get me wrong, it could. It could make someone see the light, see the world through a clearer vision. It could change everything. It could make people good and courteous, make them spend their lives trying to save others_. Their past could lead them to something brighter in the future, creating the theory that everything happened for a reason. It could make them grateful for their life instead of hateful, scornful, wishing they were never born.But it wasn__ like that for me; I didn__ get better. For me, all pain ever did was hurt.
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When I was younger I thought going through something rough would be fun, or uplifting somehow. That sounds odd, but it was how everyone portrayed terrible things. You go through this horrid experience, and suddenly you__e a better person. I wanted that; everyone wants to be a better person.Now, though, after all of this, I realized that wasn__ true. Not all the time, at least. Suffering didn__ make a person stronger. It didn__ make character, or mold someone into a better part of themselves.It could__on__ get me wrong, it could. It could make someone see the light, see the world through a clearer vision. It could change everything. It could make people good and courteous, make them spend their lives trying to save others_. Their past could lead them to something brighter in the future, creating the theory that everything happened for a reason. It could make them grateful for their life instead of hateful, scornful, wishing they were never born.But it wasn__ like that for me; I didn__ get better. For me, all pain ever did was hurt.
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