drama

Have you ever believed in something so completely that you were willing to give up everything and everyone in your life to protect it?

Freaky kids like us can__ ever be normal- Tyler says smugly- Our generation is some new kind of __volutionary development_, my shrink says- __ormal_ is just __verage_, not cool. My latest diagnosis is __.P.M_, Acute Premature Melancholia_, usually an affliction of late middle age, they think is genetic since Ty Senoir has had it all his life, too.You look if you might be A.P.M, too, Sky: that kind of pissed-off mopey look in your face like you swallowed something really gross and can__ spit it out.

I sat down in a booth, and the waitress shoved a menu in front of me. There wasn__ anything on it that sounded good, and anyway, one look at her and my stomach turned flipflops_ Every goddamned restaurant I go to, it__ always the same way_ They__l have some old bag on the payroll _ I figure they keep her locked up in the mop closet until they see me coming. And they__l doll her up in the dirtiest goddamned apron they can find and smear that crappy red polish all over her fingernails, and everything about her is smeary and sloppy and smelly. And she__ the dame that always waits on me.

Did you ever think much about jobs? I mean, some of the jobs people land in? You see a guy giving haircuts to dogs, or maybe going along the curb with a shovel, scooping up horse manure. And you think, now why is the silly bastard doing that? He looks fairly bright, about as bright as anyone else. Why the hell does he do that for living?You kind grin and look down your nose at him. You think he__ nuts, know what I mean, or he doesn__ have any ambition. And then you take a good look at yourself, and you stop wondering about the other guy_You__e got all your hands and feet. Your health is okay, and you make a nice appearance, and ambition-man! You__e got it. You__e young, I guess: you__ call thirty young, and you__e strong. You don__ have much education, but you__e got more than plenty of other people who go to the top. And yet with all that, with all you__e had to do with this is as far you__e got And something tellys you, you__e not going much farther if any.And there is nothing to be done about it now, of course, but you can__ stop hoping. You can__ stop wondering_Maybe you had too much ambition. Maybe that was the trouble. You couldn__ see yourself spending forty years moving from office boy to president. So you signed on with a circulation crew; you worked the magazines from one coast to another. And then you ran across a little brush deal-it sounded nice, anyway. And you worked that until you found something better, something that looked better. And you moved from that something to another something. Coffee-and-tea premiums, dinnerware, penny-a-day insurance, photo coupons, cemetery lots, hosiery, extract, and God knows what all. You begged for the charities, You bought the old gold. You went back to the magazines and the brushes and the coffee and tea. You made good money, a couple of hundred a week sometimes. But when you averaged it up, the good weeks with the bad, it wasn__ so good. Fifty or sixty a week, maybe seventy. More than you could make, probably, behind agas pump or a soda fountain. But you had to knock yourself out to do it, and you were standing stil. You were still there at the starting place. And you weren__ a kid any more.So you come to this town, and you see this ad. Man for outside sales and collections. Good deal for hard worker. And you think maybe this is it. This sounds like a right town. So you take the job, and you settle down in the town. And, of course, neither one of __m is right, they__e just like all the others. The job stinks. The town stinks. You stink. And there__ not a goddamned thing you can do about it. All you can do is go on like this other guys go on. The guy giving haircuts to dogs, and the guy sweeping up horse manute Hating it. Hating yourself.And hoping.

For in America this season is decreed __amily season_. (Eat your hearts out, you pitiable loners who don__ have families!) Melancholy as Thanksgiving is, the Christmas-New year__ season is far worse and lasts far longer, providing rich fund of opportunities for self-medicating, mental collapse, suicide and public mayhem with firearms. In fact it might be argued that the Christmas-New year__ season which begins abruptly after Thanksgiving is now the core-sason of American life itself, the meaning of American life_ the brute existencial point of it. How without families must envy us who bask in parental love, in the glow of yule-logs burning in fireplaces stoked by our daddie__ robust pokers, we who are stuffed to bursting with our mummie__ frantic holiday cooking; how you wish you could be us, pampered/protected kids tearing expensive foil wrappings off too many packages to count, gathered about the Christmas tree on Christmas morning as Mummy gently chided: __kyler! Bliss! Show Daddy and Mummy what you__e just opened, please! And save the little cards, so you know who gave such nice things to you

For in America this season is decreed __amily season_. (Eat your hearts out, you pitiable loners who don__ have families!) Melancholy as Thanksgiving is, the Christmas-New year__ season is far worse and lasts far longer, providing rich fund of opportunities for self-medicating, mental collapse, suicide and public mayhem with firearms. In fact it might be argued that the Christmas-New year__ season which begins abruptly after Thanksgiving is now the core-sason of American life itself, the meaning of American life_ the brute existencial point of it. How without families must envy us who bask in parental love, in the glow of yule-logs burning in fireplaces stoked by our daddie__ robust pokers, we who are stuffed to bursting with our mummie__ frantic holiday cooking; how you wish you could be us, pampered/protected kids tearing expensive foil wrappings off too many packages to count, gathered about the Christmas tree on Christmas morning as Mummy gently chided: __kyler! Bliss! Show Daddy and Mummy what you__e just opened, please! And save the little cards, so you know who gave such nice things to you_.

That__ what it means to be out of your mind. To let yourself be carried away by a dream. To give it room, let it grow wild and thick, until it overruns you.

There's more to life than cause and effect.

And now the bride begins to move. Little mechanical doll, clinging to her husband__ arm, climbing into the carriage. Her white silk stocking, her elegant shoe.

Dream It, Believe In It, And Achieve It.

Emotions tend to entwine Earthlings together.

It is amazing how sharing of one__ intimate details can make human beings forget the formality of a relationship and bring them closer together.

I shouldn't have even been obsessing about it anyway, he probably had a girlfriend. Like a supermodel or playboy bunny or something, someone equivalent to his level of sexiness. Not someone normal like me.

I know when my life is over my writings will live on, perhaps in a story or maybe a sweet love song. You see, I do not write for glory or to get anything for free. I just sit down and I write, because it makes so much sense to me.

No amount of fire or freshness can challenge what a man will store up in his ghostly heart.

Live and learn not to take things so personal.

It is necessary, and even vital, to set standards for your life and the people you allow in it.

Smartass Disciple: Master, I don__ need a fairytale.I need you to tell me the truth. Master of Stupidity: It is not funny if you just found it. No drama if no lost at first.