lovers

Oh honey, someday a real man is going to make you see stars and you won't even be looking at the sky." Excerpt from Grace Willow's Last Minute Bride

She was a ray of sunshine, a warm summer rain, a bright fire on a cold winter__ day, and now she could be dead because she had tried to save the man she loved.

I know that your soul is on life support and that you feel lost and like you__e completely spinning out of control, but you__e finding yourself _ here, tonight_ even in this darkness.

I really believe that there is an invisible red thread tied between him and me, and that it has stretched and tangled for years _ across oceans and lifetimes. I know that it won__ break because our souls are tied.

If ever I was running, it was towards you.

I just want your voice aimed at me again. I want to absorb the direction of your eyes_

I love him in ways that I can__ explain to other people. They don__ understand_ it__ not their fault.

I want you to trust yourself, baby. Love is all that matters and you__e always known that. You__e known, since you were a very little girl, what your life is meant to be about_

Everything hurts right now and nothing is helping because as the pain is getting worse _ so is the love.

I know that this process of __e changing my life_ doesn__ just end once I set fire to this list of things I hate about myself. Tonight isn__ as much of a new beginning as it is a violent end and I know the real work hasn__ even started yet.

I feel a resurgence of my 6-year-old self_ that little warrior, goddess of a girl reminding me of who I was when I was little, before the world got its hands on me.

I__ going to follow this invisible red thread until I find myself again_ until I finally figure out_ who I__ meant to be.

Please_ Whoever you are, whatever you are_ I believe in you even though I don__ completely understand you. I feel you around me even though I can__ exactly describe what I__ feeling. Sometimes things happen to me and I know that you__e there and I__ humbled by the lack of coincidence that exists in the world. Whatever you want from me, it__ yours _ just please help me. You know how I get when I lose control, and I find myself constantly being pulled back there these days.

I__e always seen this in you, ever since you were a little girl _ this hunger to love other people into their highest selves and it__ what has made me irreversibly and just so forever in love with you.

I__e grown up defined by this desperate, undeniable, __an__ breathe_ kind of space inside of myself and I__ afraid that the diagnosis is fatal.

Something, somewhere, knows what__ best for me and promises to keep sending me people and experiences to light my way as long as I live in gratitude and keep paying attention to the signs.

I fantasize the night sky to be like a cosmic blue print of my life as I close my eyes and unbutton my heart_. just in case anyone up there is listening.

Does our purpose on Earth directly link to the people whom we end up meeting? Are our relationships and experiences actually the required dots that connect and then lead us to our ultimate destinies?