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speak

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Grin is still beside me. His arms are hung tightly as his side and I take his hand. It is like touching stone and he turns stiffly toward me as we begin making our way back to where Rosso had camped the horses. We are both quiet but I know we were both thinking the same thing. That we wish we were out there and that we wish this wasn't happening at the same time. I suddenly feel the need to apologize to him too. It is because of me that his father and brothers are in this situation but that was their choice. When he looks at me, I can see forgiveness in his eyes. Neither of us have to speak to understand and neither of us look back at the people we leave behind.

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My cheeks are red hot,my lip still trembles,because I sent my heartto speak; every word of itdelusional and awkward,an exuberance, an abrupt sound.That's how I spoke, oh, it stillshows on my hot cheeksI'm now carrying home.I look down at the snowand walk past many houses,past many hedges, many trees,the snow adorns hedge, tree and house.I walk on, staring downat the snow, on my cheeksnothing but red-hot memoryreminding me of my wild talk.

RW
Robert Walser

Oppressive Light: Selected Poems by Robert Walser