the-glass-child

An artist must be passionately in love with her art. Obsessed or possessed _ go mad for what you believe in.

You are to me like white islands, in a world of vast darkness.

... and you might say __o, you will never do that, that__ not you, not who I know, not who I thought you were__nd I will say__atch me__or I never did this to fit inor stand outbut to live.

I think I__ learningthat sometimes the bravest thing is not to face the world,but to turn away from it.

Living in this skin is hard and painful, most of the times, because I never volunteered to take this on. The daily sacrifice of heart over mind,the forever ongoing task of explaining this and that,and why I don__ want to look like this and be like thatbut still here I am and if this is the body I__e been given I__ sure as hell gonna make it work.

Human interaction. The most complicated form of happiness I will never figure out.

You were the hardest year of my life and I__e never been so happy. What does that say about me?

Go outside. Don__ tell anyone and don__ bring your phone. Start walking and keep walking until you no longer know the road like the palm of your hand, because we walk the same roads day in and day out, to the bus and back home and we cease to see. We walk in our sleep and teach our muscles to work without thinking and I dare you to walk where you have not yet walked and I dare you to notice. Don__ try to get anything out of it, because you won__. Don__ try to make use of it, because you can__. And that__ the point. Just walk, see, sit down if you like. And be. Just be, whatever you are with whatever you have, and realise that that is enough to be happy. There__ a whole world out there, right outside your window. You__ be a fool to miss it.

I__ still lonely and it__ a glorification of something I__ not finished with. I don__ want to be distracted from my work by other people, but the absence of it all distracts me from my work and that__ why I run towards the city, to get a little glimpse of it.

I want to learn how to speak to anyone at any time and make us both feel a little bit better, lighter, richer, with no commitments of ever meeting again. I want to learn how to stand wherever with whoever and still feel stable. I want to learn how to unlock the locks to our minds, my mind, so that when I hear opinions or views that don__ match up with mine, I can still listen and understand. I want to burn up lifeless habits of following maps and to-do lists, concentrated liquids to burn my mind and throatand I want to go back to the way nature shaped me. I want to learn to go on well with whatever I have in my hands at the momentin a natural state of mind,certain like the sea.I will find comfort in the rhythm of the sea.

Do what ought to be done, here and now, to get you somewhere _ anywhere.

I just want to be someone, to mean something to anyone_

I was free with every road as my home. No limitations and no commitments. But then summer passed and winter came and I fell short for safety. I fell for its spell, slowly humming me to sleep, because I was tired and small, too weak to take or handle those opinions and views, attacking me from every angle. Against my art, against my self, against my very way of living. I collected my thoughts, my few possessions and built isolated walls around my values and character. I protected my own definition of beauty and success like a treasure at the bottom of the sea, for no one saw what I saw, or felt the same as I did, and so I wanted to keep to myself. You hide to protect yourself.

So many people will tell you __o_, and you need to find something you believe in so hard that you just smile and tell them __atch me_. Learn to take rejection as motivation to prove people wrong. Be unstoppable. Refuse to give up, no matter what. It__ the best skill you can ever learn.

I woke up early and took the first train to take me away from the city. The noise and all its people. I was alone on the train and had no idea where I was going, and that__ why I went there. Two hours later we arrived in a small town, one of those towns with one single coffee shop and where everyone knows each other__ name. I walked for a while until I found the water, the most peaceful place I know. There I sat and stayed the whole day, with nothing and everything on my mind, cleaning my head. Silence, I learned, is some times the most beautiful sound.

I__e been trying to stay real and true and proud of who I am,all those ideals of how to lookI__e been trying not to care.But I__ still holding my breath, I __ still watching every step.I__ still tip-toeing away, when I__ getting to ashamed of myself. I don__ want to be your letdown,I__ scared like hell I__ not enough.I don__ wanna beyour failure anymore._ The Glass Child, Letdown

I go to the ocean to say goodbye.

If I stay close to the sea, I will go on well.