wife

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.

Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.

Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!

I know one husband and wife who, whatever the official reasons given to the court for the break up of their marriage, were really divorced because the husband believed that nobody ought to read while he was talking and the wife that nobody ought to talk while she was reading.

Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband.

Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.

In a happy marriage it is the wife who provides the climate, the husband the landscape.

There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.

My wife is my soul mate. I can't imagine being without her.

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It's a choice you make - not just on your wedding day, but over and over again - and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife.

I say homes are for families, and you have to make sure you design for the family, not just one person: kids, your wife, your grandparents need to be able to use it.