Our conscious self is what we admit to being. Our unconscious shadow is the part of us that we attempt to suppress, the part of us that our family, friends, employers, coworkers, associates, clients, neighbors, and society tells us to discard. Our shadow emerges from the unspeakable things that we discover about the world and ourselves. Both the magnificent as well as the bizarre residue of prior experiences lies buried and unconfessed in the fissures of our unconscious mind. The less a person__ shadow is embodied in a person__ conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.

Denial returned, like a nagging cough you can never quite shake. Actually, it was always close at hand, and even though "satanic ritual abuse" did describe what had happened to me when I was a child. the concept was so foreign and so horrific that some part of me still wanted to stay in denial.Devil worship dominated my childhood. That was undeniable, even if it was still nearly impossible to contemplate. Both of my parents and any number of their friends, as well as "respected" members of our community, had worshipped Satan.I pushed the notion aside with all the power I could muster. I kept thinking to myself that it was ridiculous and impossible.p157

Now give me some advice about how to take full advantage of this city. I__ always looking to improve my odds.___ust what I__ expect from a horny actuary._____ serious.__arlos reflected for a moment on the problem at hand. He actually had never needed or tried to take full advantage of the city in order to meet women, but he thought about all of his friends who regularly did. His face lit up as he thought of some helpful advice: __et into the arts.___he arts?___eah.___ut I__ not artistic.___t doesn__ matter. Many women are into the arts. Theater. Painting. Dance. They love that stuff.___ou want me to get into dance? Earthquakes have better rhythm than me_And can you really picture me in those tights?___ake an art history class. Learn photography. Get involved in a play or an independent film production. Get artsy, Sammy. I__ telling you, the senoritas dig that stuff.___eally?___eah. You need to sign up for a bunch of artistic activities. But you can__ let on that it__ all just a pretext to meet women. You have to take a real interest in the subject or they__l quickly sniff out your game.___ don__ know_It__ all so foreign to me_I don__ know the first thing about being artistic.___eeb, this is the time to expand your horizons. And you__e in the perfect city to do it. New York is all about reinventing yourself. Get out of your comfort zones. Become more of a Renaissance man. That__ much more interesting to women.

Speaking of body decorations, I luuhhhvv your belly piercing!_ Heeb said, looking at the gold ring in the center of her slim, tan waist. Despite the artic cold, Angelina had opted for a skin tight, black tube top that ended just above her belly, on the assumption that a warm cab, a winter coat, and a short wait to get into the club was an adequate frosty weather strategy. Heeb was still reverently staring at her belly when Angelina finally caught her breath from laughing.__o you really like it? You__e just saying that so that you can check out my belly!___nd what__ so bad about that? I mean, didn__ you get that belly piercing so that people would check out your belly?___o. I just thought it would look cool_Do you have any piercings?___ctually, I do,_ Heeb replied.__here?___y appendix.___uh?___ wanted to be the first guy with a pierced organ. And the appendix is a totally useless organ anyway, so I figured why the hell not?___hat__ pretty original,_ she replied, amused.__h yeah. I__e outdone every piercing fanatic out there. The only problem is when I have to go through metal detectors at the airport.__ngelina burst into laughs again, and then managed to say, __on__ you have to take it out occasionally for a cleaning?___ah. I figure I__l just get it removed when my appendix bursts. It__l be a two for one operation, if you know what I mean.

Indeed, wounded loved can make for fierce vengeance. And, from what I know of Anissa, it does seem a bit out of character for her to behave so spitefully, so I'd like to think that she really is just deeply hurt, angry and looking for some way to injure me back...I hope she knows how well she's succeeded.

Everything at some point has been declared the root of all evil.