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That__ very trusting._ Iris watches Anke search our backpacks.__e__e saving people__ lives. We thought we could be,__nke says. I__ more fixated on her arm in my backpack than on what she__ saying, though. That bag is nearly empty, but it__ mine. She__ messing it up. Her hands might not even be clean.When she does stop, I immediately wish she hadn__. __enise,_ she says, __ need to search your bed next.__y gaze flicks to my pillow. __. I. Could I.___he doesn__ like people touching her bed._ Iris stands, guarding me.__ou__e touching it,_ Captain Van Zand__ brother says.Iris shoots him a withering look. __ sat at the foot, which is the only place that__ OK for even me to touch, and I__ her sister.__nke__ sigh sounds closer to a hiss. __ook, we have more rooms to search.__ squirm. No. Not squirm. I__ rocking. Back and forth. __ait,_ I say.__ou can____ Iris goes on.__ust __ause she__ too precious to__ the man argues.__ait,_ I repeat, softer this time, so soft that I__ not even sure Iris hears it. __an I, can I just, wait. I can lift the sheets and mattress myself. You can look. Right? Is that good? Right? Is that good? If I lift them?_ I force my jaw shut.No one says anything for several moments. I can__ tell if Anke is thinking of a counterargument or if she really is trying to make this work. Her lips tighten. __K. If you listen to my instructions exactly.___ou__e indulging her?_ Captain Van Zand__ brother says. __he__ just being difficult. Have you ever seen an autistic kid? Trust me, they__e not the kind to take water scooters into the city like she did.___enise, just get it done,_ Anke snaps.I don__ stand until they__e far enough away from the bed, as if they might jump at me and touch the bed themselves regardless. I blink away tears. It__ dumb, I know that____ treating Anke__ hands like some kind of nuclear hazard__ut this is my space, mine, and too little is left that__ mine as is. I can__ even face Iris. With the way she tried to help, it feels as though I__ betraying her by offering this solution myself.I keep my head low and follow Anke__ orders one-handed. Take off both the satin and regular pillowcases, show her the pillow, shake it (although I tell her she can feel the pillow herself: that__ OK, since the pillowcases will cover it again anyway)__ift the sheets, shake them, lift the mattress long enough for her to shine her light underneath, let her feel the mattress (which is OK, too, since she__ just touching it from the bottom) . . .They tell us to stay in our room for another hour.I wash my hands, straighten the sheets, wash my hands again, and wrap the pillow in its cases.__hat was a good solution,_ Iris says.__orry,_ I mutter.__or what?__eing difficult. Not letting her help me. I keep my eyes on the sheets as I make the bed and let out a small laugh.