Alyson Noel

Everything just feels so empty without her. She was more a parent to me than my birth parents were. She took me in, fed, dressed me, but most importantly, she treated me with respect. She taught me that my abilities were nothing to be ashamed of, nothing I should try so hard to deny. She convinced me that what I had was a gift-not a curse- and that I shouldn't let other people's narrow minds and fears determine how I love, what I do, or how I perceive myself in the world. She actually made me believe that in no way, shape, or form did their uninformed opinions make me a freak.

I lean back against the velvet-cushioned seat and close my eyes to the sound of hooves pounding hard against the cobblestone streets. Their clip-clopping harmony keeping perfect tempo with the rumble of carriage wheels, affording a sound as sweet as any symphony I've ever heard. It's the sound of escapeThe sound of goodbyeA sound that's served to soothe me in the past, providing the much-needed assurance that the unwelcome inquiries and suspicions of newly alerted acquaintances would soon fade - allowing for a brief respite in a new location, before I'm on the move again.I'm a gypsy.A nomad.A vagabond.A drifter.

And now I'm right back where I started. Sober and miserable.

This is where we go our seperate ways.Aware of the almost feel of his hand on my arm when he pulls me back to him and says, "Yes."I look at him, unsure of what he's saying yes to."The questions you asked earlier, about wanting to settle down, start a family, see my family? Yes. Yes to all of it."I try to swallow but can't, try to speak but the words just won't come.His hands sliding around me, grasping me to him, he lets go of the vial, allows it to fall, to crash to the ground. The sparkling green liquid seeping out all around as he says, "But mostly yes to you.

The love of every single one of my lives.

While appearing weak is okay, giving in to weakness is definitely not.

I did Google him, you know.""Oh, so you GOOGLED him Oh, well, that changes everything then, doesn't it? What could I possibly worry about now that I know you've conducted such a thorough Internet search?

We don't always get the journey we want. But we always get the journey we need.

But I've strayed so far from normal now, I'll never find my way back. And the truth is, I no longer want to.

Rules should always be bent, if not broken. It's the only way to have any fun.

Soundlessly whispering into the void, my lips moving quickly, silently, without ceasing. Calling his name, calling him to me.Even though there's no use.Even though it's futile.Even though it's way past too late.

He stops in his tracks, face expressing major disappointment. "Wait - seriously? That's it? We don't get to do a stealthy tiptoe as we slip around back? No sneaking through a cracked window, or arguing over who gets to crawl through the dogie door to let the other one in?

Deep down inside, my heart knew the score.And I know that Haven was wrong.It's not always a case of one loving more than the other.When two people are truly meant to be, they love equally.Differently - but still equal.

And I start to say, no.Start to ask him to please just take it off and put it away.Start to explain how it holds far too many memories for me.But then I remember what Damen said once about memories - that they're haunting things.And because I refuse to be haunted by mine - I just take a deep breath and smile when I say, "You know, I think it looks really good on you. You should defiantly keep it.

She's kind of a, well, you know, a B with an itch.

You can__ go back, Ever. You can__ change the past. It just is. . . . This is our destiny. Not yours.

I give him a smile I don't really own.

Everything is energy.