noel

I guess by now I should know enough about loss to realize that you never really stop missing someone-you just learn to live around the huge gaping hole of their absence.

But why didn't you just ask me?" I set down my fork and glare at her. "Because you were sleeping," She says, taking a sip if Chardonnay."I was taking a nap, Mom. It wasn't intended to be some kind of Disney fairy-tale hundred-year snooze.

I won't take advantage of you. Today, I'll be your friend.""Fen has been my friend for decades," she said, sliding her arm into his when he offered it to her. "And he never presumed to put his mouth on mine.""Obviously I'll be a different kind of friend.

Wait, I need to know who you are," I replied, desperately needing to know him."Someone you can trust," he said ominously.I frowned at that, but he just sighed. He brushed my fallen brown hair softly away from my face and gently tucked it behind my ear, then left a tender kiss on my forehead and broke away from me before I could protest.

Soundlessly whispering into the void, my lips moving quickly, silently, without ceasing. Calling his name, calling him to me.Even though there's no use.Even though it's futile.Even though it's way past too late.

He stops in his tracks, face expressing major disappointment. "Wait - seriously? That's it? We don't get to do a stealthy tiptoe as we slip around back? No sneaking through a cracked window, or arguing over who gets to crawl through the dogie door to let the other one in?

Deep down inside, my heart knew the score.And I know that Haven was wrong.It's not always a case of one loving more than the other.When two people are truly meant to be, they love equally.Differently - but still equal.

And I start to say, no.Start to ask him to please just take it off and put it away.Start to explain how it holds far too many memories for me.But then I remember what Damen said once about memories - that they're haunting things.And because I refuse to be haunted by mine - I just take a deep breath and smile when I say, "You know, I think it looks really good on you. You should defiantly keep it.