Bill Watterson

We don't value craftsmanship anymore! All we value is ruthless efficiency, and I say we deny our own humanity that way! Without appreciation for grace and beauty, there's no pleasure in creating things and no pleasure in having them! Our lives are made drearier, rather than richer! How can a person take pride in his work when skill and care are considered luxuries! We're not machines! We have a human need for craftsmanship!

BE CAREFUL, OR BE ROADKILL!

Until you stalk and overrun, you cannot devour anyone.-Hobbes

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the best of the choices available. Some people are idealists, standing for principle and refusing to compromise. And some people just act on any whim that enters their heads. I wonder which one YOU are. I pragmatically turn my whims into principles!

You know, maybe we don't need enemies.""Yeah, best friends aree about all I can take.

I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, you're doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, you're lucky. And if that person can also stand you, you're really lucky.

They say the world is a stage. But obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines.""Maybe that__ why it__ hard to tell if we__e living in a tragedy or a farce.""We need more special effects and dance numbers.

If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are?

Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement. In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive. Ambition is only understood if it__ to rise to the top of some imaginary ladder of success. Someone who takes an undemanding job because it affords him the time to pursue other interests and activities is considered a flake. A person who abandons a career in order to stay home and raise children is considered not to be living up to his potential _ as if a job title and salary are the sole measure of human worth.You__l be told in a hundred ways, some subtle and some not, to keep climbing, and never be satisfied with where you are, who you are, and what you__e doing. There are a million ways to sell yourself out, and I guarantee you__l hear about them.To invent your own life__ meaning is not easy, but it__ still allowed, and I think you__l be happier for the trouble.

History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That's why events are always reinterpreted when values change. We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices.

Calvin:"It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.'...what do you suppose that means?"Television: "...it means that Karl Marx hadn't seen anything yet

But Calvin is no kind and loving god! He's one of the old gods! He demands sacrifice!

Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a 'possum stuck in your collar?

[Calvin, who has the chicken pox, calls Susie on the telephone.] Susie: Hello? Calvin: Hi, Susie! It's me, Calvin! I was wondering if you'd like to come over and play. Susie: Why, sure! Boy, I don't think you've ever invited me to... Calvin's Mom: Calvin, what are you doing? Calvin: Nothing, Mom. Go away. Calvin's Mom: You're contagious! You can't have anyone over to play! Calvin: Shhhh! Shhhh! You'll spoil the whole thing! I was going to trick Susie into catching... HEY! OW! LET GO! Susie: [Hanging up the phone] Any chance of getting transferred, Dad?

Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess.

I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.-Calvin

Specifically, I__ like to debate whether cannibalism ought to be grounds for leniency in murders, since it__ less wasteful.