Charles R. Cross

He had the desperation, not the courage, to be himself. Once you do that, you can__ go wrong, because you can__ make any mistakes when people love you for being yourself. But for Kurt, it didn__ matter that other people loved him; he simply didn__ love himself enough.

Being unemployed, Kurt set in motion a routine that he would follow for the rest of his life. He would rise at around noon and eat a brunch of sorts. Kraft Macaroni and Cheese was his favorite food. After eating, he would spend the rest of the day doing one of three things: watching television, which he did unceasingly; practicing his guitar, which he did for hours a day, usually while watching TV; or creating some kind of art project, be it a painting, collage, or three-dimensional installation. This last activity was never formal_ he rarely identified himself as an artist__et he spent hours in this manner.

In Newcastle, Kurt announced from the stage, __ am a homosexual, I am a drug user, and I fuck pot-bellied pigs,_ another classic Cobainism, though only one of his three claims was true.

Though Kurt would later claim that his graffiti messages were political, in fact, most of what he wrote was nonsensical. He enraged a neighbor with a boat by painting __oat Ack_ in red letters on the ship__ hull; on the other side he lettered, __oat people go home.

One of these days, I'm going to astral project myself up into the skies," he boasted. "I'll be going to the stars and the moon. I want to fly and see what's up there."I want to go up to the sky," he said, looking at his aunt, "from star to star.

He was able to sit in silence for long stretches without feeling a need to make small talk.