Debra Holland

Women! Whether human or divine, what man can ever truly understand them?

Pepe absently thought, happy beyond words that he was actually holding hands with Lucia. Passing a stall with a particularly pungent odor of manure made Pepe falter, realizing a barn wasn't the most romantic place to propose. Then he remembered the Savior born on this very night so long ago, and he figured if God could choose a stable for such an important miracle, he could too.

Jacques appeared on his hands and knees, peering around the corner of the cabin. His dark eyes lit with pleasure when he saw her. The baby flashed Antonia his wide grin and scooted toward her. Only in the last two days had he gone from pushing himself across the floor to a hands-and-knees crawl.Henri trailed so close behind Jacques that he had to walk wide-legged so he didn__ step on his brother.The baby reached her, placed his hands on her legs, and pressed himself up, grabbing at the front of her tunic. __aa.__ntonia hugged Jacques. He__ soiled his rabbit skin diaper and smelled, but she held him close, needing to feel the baby in her arms. He wiggled in protest. She dropped a kiss on his forehead and reached up to her shoulder to unlace the leather ties of her tunic, pulling the flap down to free her breast. He began to suckle greedily.Henri dropped to her other side and leaned against her. Antonia put her arm around him. Just holding her sons brought her comfort but also increased her despair. What do I be doin_ now? Should I be takin_ the boys and leave? Head for Sweetwater Springs?Antonia shook her head. No! I won__ be leavin_ Jean-Claude. Cain__ leave my home.But without her husband to provide for them, she didn__ know how long she__ be able to manage on her own.Somehow, I__l be findin_ a way, Antonia vowed.

Antonia Valleau cast the first shovelful of dirt onto her husband__ fur-shrouded body, lying in the grave she__ dug in their garden plot, the only place where the soil wasn__ still rock hard. I won__ be breakin_ down. For the sake of my children, I must be strong. Pain squeezed her chest like a steel trap. She had to force herself to take a deep breath, inhaling the scent of loam and pine. I must be doing this.She drove the shovel into the soil heaped next to the grave, hefted the laden blade, and dumped the earth over Jean-Claude, trying to block out the thumping sound the soil made as it covered him. Even as Antonia scooped and tossed, her muscles aching from the effort, her heart stayed numb, and her mind kept playing out the last sight of her husband. The memory haunting her, she paused to catch her breath and wipe the sweat off her brow, her face hot from exertion in spite of the cool spring air.Antonia touched the tips of her dirty fingers to her lips. She could still feel the pressure of Jean-Claude__ mouth on hers as he__ kissed her before striding out the door for a day of hunting. She__ held up baby Jacques, and Jean-Claude had tapped his son__ nose. Jacques had let out a belly laugh that made his father respond in kind. Her heart had filled with so much love and pride in her family that she__ chuckled, too. Stepping outside, she__ watched Jean-Claude ruffle the dark hair of their six-year-old, Henri. Then he strode off, whistling, with his rifle carried over his shoulder. She__ thought it would be a good day__ normal day. She assumed her husband would return to their mountain home in the afternoon before dusk as he always did, unless he had a longer hunt planned.As Antonia filled the grave, she denied she was burying her husband. Jean-Claude be gone a checkin_ the trap line, she told herself, flipping the dirt onto his shroud.She moved through the nightmare with leaden limbs, a knotted stomach, burning dry eyes, and a throat that felt as though a log had lodged there. While Antonia shoveled, she kept glancing at her little house, where, inside, Henri watched over the sleeping baby. From the garden, she couldn__ see the doorway.She worried about her son__hat the glimpse of his father__ bloody body had done to the boy. Mon Dieu, she couldn__ stop to comfort him. Not yet. Henri had promised to stay inside with the baby, but she didn__ know how long she had before Jacques woke up. Once she finished burying Jean-Claude, Antonia would have to put her sons on a mule and trek to where she__ found her husband__ body clutched in the great arms of the dead grizzly. She wasn__ about to let his last kill lie there for the animals and the elements to claim. Her family needed that meat and the fur. She heard a sleepy wail that meant Jacques had awakened. Just a few more shovelfuls. Antonia forced herself to hurry, despite how her arms, shoulders, and back screamed in pain.When she finished the last shovelful of earth, exhausted, Antonia sank to her knees, facing the cabin, her back to the grave, placing herself between her sons and where their father lay. She should go to them, but she was too depleted to move.

A job isn__ __ill death do us part_

I particularly want you to meet Miss Bucholtz._ The very idea made him uneasy. __hy is that,Ma__m?_ he bluntly asked. Mrs. Morgan hesitated. __eep this under your hat, mind you._ __es, Ma__m._ She let out a tired sigh. ____e brought Miss Bucholtz to replace Mr. Gabellini._ Howie pictured a dried up old spinster with the same commanding presence as Mrs. Morgan, a real battle-axe. __ireworks are coming. Are you sure a woman is the right, uh, person for the job?_ __ertha Bucholz is one of the best cooks I know. I guarantee by this time next month, you men will all be sporting five extra pounds.

With the way Bertha can cook and her good-natured personality, she__l be married in no time. We__l see to it!_ She cast a speculative glance around. __hy I see ten available men within a hundred feet of us. ... Bertha will manage just fine_ I hope.

Howie rose and smiled down at her. __ just eat what__ put before me without being picky. I know everything you make will make my tastebuds bless the day you set foot in Morgan__ Crossing_ he drawled, waiting to see the adorable look of confusion that crossed her face when he flirted.Bertha lowered her gaze and looked up at him through her eyelashes.__nly your tastebuds?

Even through her coat, he could feel the curve of her arm, making him aware of their differences. Man and woman. Hard and soft.

Don__ be sorry, Darlin__, he said in his best cowboy drawl, __or I__ certainly not. It__ not every day a man like me gets to assist such a pretty lady. Any time you need help in or out of a wagon, you just give me a holler_ he said in a teasing tone, ____l be right there, hoping you__l fall in my arms again.

She sighed. __hat I wouldn__ give for a civilized bathroom._ Howie remained silent out of habit and also because he didn__ know what a civilized bathroom was.

Howie brought her hand to his lips. __ou stepped in front of me,_ he said in wonder. __ didn__ need you to. I can handle Prudence Morgan._ __ut you didn__._ She tapped his chest. __ou stayed quiet for the longest time before responding._ __uiet is how I handle difficult people_._ __ou don__ handle me that way._ Her voice came out sounding breathless. Howie slipped his arms around her. __f it were up to me, this is how I__ handle you._ Butterflies danced in her stomach. Not a fearful battering of wings, but a sparkling mating flight, making her heart soar into her throat. __hy isn__ it up to you?

I think Livingston was going to steal a kiss in the moonlight." Lily wrinkled her nose. "Well, I certainly wouldn't have given him one. He made me too uncomfortable, and I just met him!" Tyler cupped her face with his hands, leaning closer. "What about me?" he said, his voice low. "Will you give one to me?" "I shouldn't." The lonely years stretched ahead of her. Her earlier vow to make memories rose and suddenly she was desperate for some kisses of Tyler's to remember. In answer to his question, she tilted her mouth to his.

I've been thanking God for you being there. For you risking your life for Dove. I'll never forget it, Tyler. I'll never forget you...." "Truth is, Lily, I'll never forget you either.

Her thoughts drifted to Tyler Dunn... to the feeling of being held in his arms. Wistfulness curled through her heart and she wished for the freedom to enjoy the attention of a man... to indulge in a lady-like flirtation... to fall in love. Although the wishes weren't new, for the first time, she had someone to weave the fantasy around. She could easily paint a romantic dream of living here with Tyler. But, Lily knew that dreaming about such a life would only make it harder to live with her reality. Yet, she couldn't help imagining him in the pool like this, naked as a newborn babe, yet all man.