Fisher Amelie

An Irishman walks into a pub,_ she begins and the bar went silent. __he bartender asks him, __hat'll you have?__ Her Irish accent was spot on. __he man says, __ive me three pints of Guinness, please._ The bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more.__he bartender says, __ir, no need to order as many at a time. I__l keep an eye on it and when you get low, I'll bring you a fresh one._ The man replies, __ou don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, me brothers have three Guinness stouts too, and we're drinking together.___he bartender thought this a wonderful tradition and every week the man came in and ordered three beers._ January__ playing and voice became more solemn, dramatic. __ut one week, he ordered only two._ The crowd oohed and ahhed. __e slowly drank them,_ she continued darkly, __nd then ordered two more. The bartender looked at him sadly. __ir, I know your tradition, and, agh, I'd just like to say that I'm sorry for your loss.___he man looked on him strangely before it finally dawned on him. __h, me brothers are fine - I just quit drinking.

My heart was in a perpetual state of sadness and the only relief I could find were in those cathartic cries. I lived a fragile existence.

I'd discovered that the sun equated happiness. Its bright and lovely existence was hope incarnate. It exposed the dark, brought forth the light and showed you that no matter how strong or oppressive the night was, that it was infinitely stronger, exponentially more substantial and just because you couldn't see it with your eyes, didn't mean it wasn't still with you. it was stalwart and constant. It was infinite.

They are funny little representatives of simplicity, of awareness. No one is more aware of themselves as these children are. They have nothing, have no one but us, have seemingly no reason to be hopeful...yet they are. They choose to be happy even though the obviously easier choice would be to be frightened or sad and they have real reason to be those things as well. But they have life and faith and hope and love and they choose those things. Their innocence is addicting, their hope is catching and I'm happy to be surrounded by them.

Ask yourself something. Have you ever thought about why guys want you gone the next day? It__ not because they__e got things to do, though I__ sure there are a few assholes who think like that, either because they repeated the folly so often they learned to bury the guilt or because they didn__ have a conscience to begin with but, truthfully, it__ because they can__ stand to look at the reason they feel a hole in their chest. They don__ like reminders of who helped put that sick feeling in the pits of their stomachs. As long as they had a decent mama, the guilt is always substantial. Always. If they say differently, they__e liars." - Spencer Blackwell, GREED

August said you row?_ she asked. Her voice spilled over me like warm syrup. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the drugging sensation then realized she__ asked me a question.__eah,_ I answered belatedly. Good. A short answer but it__ better than mouth diarrhea. __ row...a-uh-boat...with-uh-my teammates._ Superb! Just-uh-superb.

I can__ do that,_ he said, exhaling sharply and staring out the glass into the street.__hy not?__is face softened. __ need his money.__pencer looked at me and I couldn__ help but stare back. We were all in the same boat, prisoners to GREED.

I ran up the stairs, shedding pieces of my suit as I went, determined for a shower, resolute in washing away what I__ just done, who I really was but I was certain there was nothing that could cleanse me, to launder my poisoned blood. This was who I was. Hopeless personified.

I followed suit, a little bit nervous, and very unaware of what I was supposed to do. I had that same sensation you get when you were new to a school and had no idea who anyone was in your lunch period. You__ take your lunch tray and sort of stand around for a moment looking for a good spot to take a seat but the entire time you__e searching, all you can feel is everyone__ eyes on you. That__ a shitty feeling.

I started toward the barn and was grateful that the wind was still. About halfway up the drive, my heart began to beat an irregular rhythm as I caught sight of Cricket coming toward me. My breath caught in my throat. This girl. This tiny little girl had such incredible power over me with her big, blue, round, sad eyes. Her unusual face, her unusually striking face. Her pert nose. The faint laugh lines around her eyes and mouth. And I didn__ know her, didn__ really even know if she and I were anything alike but that didn__ stop me from wishing we shared a future...even if she did belong to someone else.

I thought back to all the times I__ slept with a girl and not thought twice about it and my gut ached. If a girl doesn__ safeguard herself, who will? I__ always had the mentality that men will change when women change but I never thought about how safeguarding the girls around me was just as much my responsibility as it was theirs.

Why me?_ I secreted into her ear.__ou were the only one I saw,_ she whispered back, making my heart burst.

If you took everything I__ ever found hot in a girl and piled them into a corner, you__ get Cricket Hunt standing in a corner.

You may have misery,_ she continued, ignoring my plea, __ou may lose hope in the sorrow of an unplanned life but as long as you have faith and trust in adoration, in affection, in love, that sorrow will turn to happiness. And that is a constant, dear._ She breathed deeply and steadily for a moment, seemingly catching her breath.__o one can know sincere happiness, Sophie, without first having known sorrow. One can never appreciate the enormity and rareness of such a fiery bliss without seeing misery, however unfair that may be.__nd you will know honest happiness. Of that I am certain. Certain because it__ why you are here and also because here is your inevitability.

I breathe just to be near you...

We're all so afraid of what everyone around us thinks that we risk ourselves to desperation. It's utterly stupid. It's utterly frightening. But it's utterly human.

Anger is a consuming thing, a burning takeover. It sets up shop in your heart and head and murders anything else attempting to makes it way in. Life becomes obsessed with it, clouded with it, engrossed in it. You justify feeling with delusions that you're owed retribution. You condone thoughts and vengeful acts, feeding yourself with the idea that it's warranted.But that nourishment comes at a price. It costs you pieces of your soul, your love, your worth. You disregard your beliefs, your conscience. You adopt apathy like it's salvation because you know in your heart of hearts that you would deteriorate into nothing without it. Because you don't want to let it go. It makes you feel powerful, that anger. It makes you feel important. So you will let it eat you alive, consume every part of you until all that's left is hollow revenge.

I__ glad I married you too, Harper,_ I whispered into her hair, __ecause I__ in love with you._ But she didn__ hear, gone into a dream.