Greg Behrendt

There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you're Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it's your relationship that's insecure, not his bank account.

I believe in love the verb, not the noun.

When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you__ like them to be.

If he__ not calling you, it__ because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn__ follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he__ okay with disappointing you. Don__ be with someone who doesn__ do what they say they__e going to do. If he__ choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn__ respect your feelings and needs. __usy_ is another word for __sshole._ __sshole_ is another word for the guy you__e dating. You deserve a fcking phone call.

We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, __ou__e not theone._ We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both__r even worse, cry and yell at us.

Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.)

You picked a lemon, throw it away lemonade is overrated. Freaks should remain at the circus, not in your apartment. You already have one asshole. You don__ need another. Make a space in your life for the glorious things you deserve. Have faith.

Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating.

Let__ start with this statistic: You are delicious. Be brave, my sweet. I know you can get lonely. I know you can crave companionship and sex and love so badly that it physically hurts. But I truly believe that the only way you can find out that there__ something better out there is to first believe there__ something better out there. What other choice is there?

Here's something else to think about: calling when you say you're going to is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can't lay this one stupid brick down, you ain't never gonna have a house baby, and it's cold outside.

First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend

He doesn__ have to love your CD collection. He doesn__ have to love your shoes. But any good, mature guy better make an attempt to love your friends and family__specially when they__e great.

He doesn't need to be reminded you're great.

..he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you.

The quickest way to rectify that mistake (choosing the wrong person) is by learning from that, moving on, and choosing much more wisely in the future.

I do think that you can dress yourself out of a problem. The way that a haircut and a new pair of pants can make you feel is better than any therapist, because when you look in the mirror, you see a different person - you are a different person. It's superficial change that can lead to real change.

I think probably - I think, you know, when you're first dating somebody, if they're just not that physical with you, if they don't want to make concrete plans with you, you know, if they're sort of ambiguous about where everything is going, I think that's a pretty good sign that they're not into you.

I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.