Janet Evanovich

I've noticed you only speak ghetto half of the time." - Stephanie"I'm multi-lingual," Rancher said.I followed him to the door, feeling jealous, wishing I knew a second language.

He__ sort of a homeless horse,_ I said.____ leaving for the airport in two seconds, and I won__ be back for a couple days. You can put the horse in the garage, but I don__ want that horse in my apartment.___ho would put a horse in an apartment? That__ dumb.___here__ the horse staying now?___y apartment.___ can always count on you to brighten my day,_ Ranger said. And he disconnected.

That's how hospitals get you. You go in to visit and before you know it they got a camera stuck up your butt and they're looking' to find poloponies.

You took your clothes off?""You didn't notice?""No! Jeez Louise, I don't even know you.""If you look under the covers, you'll know me better.""I don't want to know you better!""That's a big fib," Diesel said.

Diesel sucked air. "You keep fondling me like that, and I might have to marry you.""I'm not fondling you. I'm looking for the keys!""Could you look a little more gently? You're scaring my boys.

Lucille must have fed him a Vallium smoothie this morning.

As Stephanie and Lula were going after the bad guys, Lula was making preparations from the trunk of her Firebird. Stephanie looked inside and stopped breathing for a beat. "That's a rocket launcher!" "Yep," Lula said. "It's a big boy. I got it at a yard sale in the projects.

When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said: "She's doing better now that we got her the longer tubing to her oxygen tank.

Connie, giving her thoughts on why Vinnie's hot temper is less than normal, says: "Lucille must have fed him a Vallium smoothie this morning.

I don't believe this," Diesel said. "It just gets worse and worse. Bad I enough I have to play cupid to a butcher, button maker and veterinarian...now have to be sex therapist for a guy who gives people a rash.

You gonna take the case?"It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of."You're gonna have a devil of a time finding him if it was aliens," Grandma said.

I always wanted to eat with a Negro,_ Grandma said.Yeah, well I always wanted to eat with a boney-assed old white woman,_ Lula said. __o I guess this works out good.

Personally, I'm a lazy kind of guy, and leaving the door open on the mystical saves me work. I don't have to stress my brain trying to explain the unexplainable. It's magic. End of discussion.

They were actually sitting at a table, like two old friends, not like the hunterand the hunted. And it wasn't especially awkward. They were comfortable together,despite the fact that she'd hit him with a bus. Maybe his scheme would work.

He's going to jail. He can't see. He can't hear. He can't take a leak that lasts under fifteen minutes. But he has an erection and all the other problems are small change. Next time around I'm coming back as a man. Priorities are clearly defined. Life is simple.

Maybe it's just not the right time for us to be married. I don't want to be a bounty hunter for the rest of my life, but I certainly don't want to be a housewife right now. And I really don't want to be married to someone who gives me ultimatums.And maybe Joe needs to examine what he wants from a wife. He was raised in a traditional Italian household with a stay-at-home mother and domineering father. If he wants a wife who will fit into that mold, I'm not for him. I might be a stay-at-home mother someday, but I'll always be trying to fly off the garage roof. That's just who I am.

You never want to look in a mirror," Lula said. "Men love mirrors. They look at themselves doing the deed and they see Rex the Wonder Horse. Women look at themselves and think they need to renew their membership at the gym.

If she wasn't your grandmother I'd shoot her."Ranger