Jimmy Breslin

Politics, where fat, bald, disagreeable men, unable to be candidates themselves, teach a president how to act on a public stage.

The office of the president is such a bastardized thing half royalty and half democracy that nobody knows whether to genuflect or spit.

True New Yorkers do not really seek information about the outside world. They feel that if anything is not in New York it is not likely to be interesting.

When you leave New York you ain't going anywhere.

When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.

I'm on my high school football team and MUST show how much I know.

Life never was long enough to provide time for enemies. Nor is it long enough for people who bore me, or for me to stand around boring and antagonizing others, or for all of us, the others and me, to get into these half-friendly, half-sour fender-bumpings of egos and personalities and ideas, a process which turns a day into a contest when it really should be a series of hours serving your pleasure.