Josh Billings

There is one kind of laugh that I always did recommend; it looks out of the eye first with a merry twinkle, then it creeps down on its hands and knees and plays around the mouth like a pretty moth around the blaze of a candle, then it steals over into the dimples of the cheeks and rides around in those whirlpools for a while, then it lights up the whole face like the mellow bloom on a damask rose, then it swims up on the air, with a peal as clear and as happy as a dinner-bell, then it goes back again on gold tiptoes like an angel out for an airing, and it lies down on its little bed of violets in the heart where it came from.

In the whole history of the world there is but one thing that money cannot buy...to wit--the wag of a dog's tail.

One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed.

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.

Don't put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.

the squeeky wheel gets the grease.

Success does not consist in never making blunders, but in never making the same one a second time.

There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't.

Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.

Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe.

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.