Kin Hubbard

Everything comes to him who waits, except a loaned book.

Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.

There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?

It isn't enough for you to love money - it's also necessary that money should love you.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public.

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.

No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.

We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.

Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.

Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience.

A bee is never as busy as it seems it's just that it can't buzz any slower.

After a fellow gets famous it doesn't take long for someone to bob up that used to sit by him in school.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

All the world loves a good loser.