Margaret Cho

If we have the opportunity to be generous with our hearts, ourselves, we have no idea of the depth and breadth of love's reach.

I__ not going to die because I failed as someone else. I__ going to succeed as myself.

These days, I strive to be a bitch, because not being one sucks. Not being a bitch means not having your voice heard. Not being a bitch means you agree with all the bullshit. Not being a bitch means you don't appreciate all the other bitches who have come before you. Not being a bitch means since Eve ate that apple, we will forever have to pay for her bitchiness with complacence, obedience, acceptance, closed eyes, and opened legs.

Whenever anyone has called me a bitch, I have taken it as a compliment. To me, a bitch is assertive, unapologetic, demanding, intimidating, intelligent, fiercely protective, in control _ all very positive attributes. But it__ not supposed to be a compliment, because there__ that stupid double standard: When men are aggressive and dominant, they are admired, but when a woman possesses those same qualities, she is dismissed and called a bitch.These days, I strive to be a bitch, because not being one sucks. Not being a bitch means not having your voice heard. Not being a bitch means you agree with all the bullshit. Not being a bitch means you don__ appreciate all the other bitches who have come before you. Not being a bitch means since Eve ate that apple, we will forever have to pay for her bitchiness with complacence, obedience, acceptance, closed eyes, and open legs.

Just because you are blind, and unable to see my beauty doesn't mean it does not exist.

I am so beautiful, sometimes people weep when they see me. And it has nothing to do with what I look like really, it is just that I gave myself the power to say that I am beautiful, and if I could do that, maybe there is hope for them too. And the great divide between the beautiful and the ugly will cease to be. Because we are all what we choose.

Am I gay, am I straight? No, I'm just slutty. So, where's my parade? What about slut pride.

George Bush isn't Hitler. He could be if he applied himself.

Usually, if you smile at them and show some interest in the toy, they will give it to you. That's a straight up Democrat move!

I'm not a mom, but I think the word 'mother' is about wisdom.

I think it is really sad that when people lose their homes they kind of lose their minds too.

I didn't appreciate the young woman that I was, or my young beauty, because I was so obsessed with the fact that I felt fat. It's never good to add to anybody else's suffering. It's an important topic to really get the gravity and the importance of - dealing with dignity.

To me, marriage is really important and what we build families on. That's why gay marriage is really important.

Interventions are really emotionally exhausting and I would never ever want to have one. In the same way, I would never want to have a surprise birthday party. That would be horrible.

I want Jesus to come back and say 'THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT'" -

I went to a performance-art high school, and a teacher there was signing me up for open-mic nights at the comedy club. I think about it now, and I think, 'Well, that may be inappropriate,' but it was great!'

It's good to be able to laugh at yourself and the problems you face in life. Sense of humor can save you.

Sometimes the only way to deal with horrific things in life is through a dark sense of humor.