Mike Birbiglia

Dopamine is a chemical released in your brain and your body when you sleep that paralyzes your body so you don't act out your dreams.

I like 'Donnie Darko' it's a cool take on dreams and sleep.

I try to think up material that might apply to the subjects they are studying. How many mitochondria does it take to power a cell? One. Because mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cell. Not ready for prime time, that one.

I thought, Hey, maybe these people shouldn__ be making up holidays to drink more. Maybe if they drank less they might be able to title their newspaper articles more specifically. For example, I would title this last article __runk Driver Hits Drunk Walker Drunkety-Drunk I__ So Drunk.

They really cut to the chase in the urologist__ examination room, and I tried to laugh. If this office were a movie, it would have been rated R.

Bears are simultaneously so graceful and so strong. Bears know who they are, but they often don__ know who you are, which is why they kill you.

...And so we go and I meet his parents. And it's a very strange thing meeting your girlfriend's boyfriend's parents for the first time. Part of you is angry for obvious reasons and part of you still wants to make a good impression. On a side note, they seemed in perfect health.