Peter Cameron

Having bad experiences sometimes helps; it makes it clearer what it is youshould be doing. I know that sounds very Pollyannaish but it__ true. People who have had only good experiences aren__ very interesting. They may be content, and happy after a fashion, but they aren__ very deep. It may seem a misfortune now, and it makes things difficult, but well__t__ easy to feel all the happy, simple stuff. Not that happiness is necessarily simple. But I don__ think you__e going to have a life like that, and I think you__l be the better for it. The difficult thing is to not be overwhelmed by the bad patches. You mustn__ let them defeat you. You must see them as a gift__ cruel gift, but a gift nonetheless.

And the boys were all clean, their faces freshly and brutally shaved, their hair painstakingly gelled into exquisite apparent carelessness, with this electric feeling inside of them, which matched the feelings in the girls, that they were all ascending, moving into a future that could only improve them, and I wondered what it was like - the miracle, the stupidity of feeling that.

It made me very sad, that question. Sad and defeated. Because I knew she knew why I was thinking about that woman__ was thinking about my own tendencies toward aloneness and I thought I could end up like that woman, with a bird perhaps, or a dog__robably a dog, I know birds are supposed to make good pets but I think there__ something creepy about them__ut alone with a life that didn__ touch or overlap with anyone else__, a sort of hermetically sealed life.

I don't think I could ever work in such a blatantly hierarchical corporate setting. I know that everyone in this world is not equal, but I can't bear environments that make this truth so obvious.

I only feel like myself when I am alone.

I felt this awful obligation to be charming or at least have something to say, and the pressure of having to be charming (or merely verbal) incapacitates me.

It seemed that everyone else could mate, could fit their parts together in pleasant and productive ways, but that some almost indistinguishable difference in my anatomy and psyche set me slightly, yet irrevocably, apart.

I hate when people say 'I see'. It doesn't mean anything and I think it's hostile. Whenever anyone tells me 'I see' I think they're really saying 'Fuck you'.

New York is strange in the summer. Life goes on as usual but it__ not, it__ like everyone is just pretending, as if everyone has been cast as the star in a movie about their life, so they__e one step removed from it. And then in September it all gets normal again.

One man__ nonsense is another man__ sense.