Rachel Bertsche

The decision to move to the second post-college city (or suburb, or town), however, is usually made independent of friends. No matter if you do it for love, career, family, or school, the second move is on your own terms.

Sometimes when I see people from high school I feel trapped in a persona I maintained then,' she says. 'Ten years have gone by, a dive changed a tremendous amount - both emotionally and in circumstance. So while my oldest relationships are incredibly dear, and it's true that they know me intimately, it can be freeing to have relationships built on exactly who you are at this moment.

Because while we all Facebook stalk, protocol is to not admit it. I might know, from status update, that a potential best friend swims laps every mornings, but it'd be creep to say "Don't worry about eating that doughnut, you deserve it after all those calories you burn!" Instead, I check out her profile and she reviews mine, but then we meet and pretend to know nothing.

The evening makes me think Facebook is a blessing and a curse. Sure, it helps us keep track of people with whom we otherwise would have fallen out of touch. But sometimes relationships fade for a reason. They're better left a memory.

But on a Sunday morning when I want to grab an omelet over girl talk, I__ at a loss. My Chicago friends are the let__-get-dinner-on-the-books-a-month-in-advance type. We email, trading dates until we find an open calendar slot amidst our tight schedules of workout classes, volunteer obligations (no false pretenses here, the volunteers are my friends, not me, sadly), work events, concert tickets and other dinners scheduled with other girls. I__ looking for someone to invite to watch The Biggest Loser with me at the last minute or to text __edicure in half an hour?_ on a Saturday morning. To me, that__ what BFFs are.

With some people there is easy conversation and not enough time in one meal to get out everything you want to tell her--all the things you didn't know you'd been holding in until you're suddenly confessing to Facebook-stalking ex-boyfriends and how nerdy you are for coveting the iPad--and with others there is that subtle but heavy weight of constantly trying to think of what you might say next to avoid an uncomfortable silence.

Popular culture has made it okay to yell "I want a man!" from the rooftops, so why are we still embarrassed to say, "I want a best friend"?