Susan C. Young

ASK YOURSELF: Have you found that being nice to some people is simply not effective? When might it be wise to throw down the gauntlet and get tough or confrontational?

What is easy for one person may be terrifying for another. Not all people have developed an unshakable confidence to kick butt and conquer. How can meek and quiet wallflowers, both women and men, join the ranks of the risk takers and event shakers? The first step is to ask yourself how you may be feeling stuck and then get moving.

Some people not only burn their bridges, but they also torch the town! With all their deeds of drama and destruction, they leave behind an aftermath of distrust, disrespect, and disappointment. And for what? This behavior creates immeasurable suffering in all directions. It ruins reputations and business deals, shatters lives__nd closes doors which can never be re-opened. These repercussions can be prevented or avoided by simply BEING NICE.

Life rewards action. To get from where you are now to where you want to be requires forward movement and momentum. Although you may already know what it takes to bridge the gap, simply knowing what to do is not enough.

Orientation & Proximity. Be aware of the orientation between yourself and others so that you can be sensitive and responsive to their comfort zones.

Google Proves Nice Counts. On a quest to discover what it takes to build the "perfect team," Google launched the Project Aristotle initiative to find the answers. Over a period of several years, they surveyed hundreds of teams, conducted interviews, analyzed studies, and observed how team members interacted with one another.Google__ findings revealed that "psychological safety" is the key ingredient for creating a high-functioning team. It nurtures a healthy environment that encourages freedom of expression, engaging communication, empathy for one another, caring, support, respect and, drum roll please . . . BEING NICE!

Palm Reading 101_ Palm Up_ Conveys openness, service, humility, and sympathy._ Palm Down__emonstrates authority, superiority, and control._ Palm Vertical__hows you are meeting on equal terms with a mutually respectful greeting._ Palm Wet, Cold, or Clammy__ck! The "dead fish" is creepy. Make your hands warm and dry before reaching out to touch someone, please! It can also be conveyed as being nervous or over-excited._ Palm Perfect__his is my favorite. Better known as the "hand hug." While you are shaking hands with your right hand, place your left hand on top, wrapping both people in warmth and trust. This two-handed shake illustrates affection, caring, or concern, especially when you then reach up to grasp their arm or shoulder.

Considerations & Exceptions for Impressive Handshakes_ Be mindful of a person__ age; be tender with arthritic hands. In that case, a loose and gentler handshake is a gesture of sensitivity and compassion._ Show interest; even if your right hand is full, offer your left hand. _ Demonstrate respect when you are caught in an introduction while seated; try to stand. _ Be instinctive about when to allow the length of your handshake to linger to express unity, connection, or sympathy.

Action is the key to creating the changes needed to propel you toward your chosen outcomes and help you achieve your relationship goals. How are you allocating your time, energy, and activities to __ctivate your awesome_ and contribute to making a positive first impression?

As a professional speaker, Susanne travels all over the country and practically lives on airplanes. One day as she entered security to board yet another flight, she was struck by the poise, posture, and gestures of the man in front of her in line. As a communications expert, she observed his excellent presentation with appreciation and awe.The gentleman was dressed impeccably in a crisp white shirt and well-fitted suit and he sported a new haircut. She watched him as he removed his flawless leather belt, his gold money clip, and well-polished shoes. (And of course, he had Listerine in a baggie to ensure fresh breath!) The care with which he dismantled was impressive. His poised and fluid movements were deliberate and respectful of his personal possessions. As he regrouped and proceeded down the concourse, she was struck by how his stance and carriage intrigued and impressed her. His projection of elegance created a presence of pride and dignity. He left a remarkable impression.

To Polish the Gold & Help Others Shine . . . take the time to mine the gold.Actively seek the goodness in others then express your gratitude for it. Excavate the dirt, seek the treasure, and polish their gold to shine boldly and brightly. People will rise to your positive expectations and belief in them.

Take the initiative to introduce yourself. One morning I was sitting on a bike in a spinning class at my gym. There was a lady whom I did not know sitting on the bike next to me. As we waited for the instructor, I decided to break the silence and start a conversation. I took the initiative to introduce myself and within a few short minutes, I knew her children__ names, how long she had lived in Madison, which exercise classes she preferred, and where they went for Christmas. When the class was over, I confirmed that I remembered her name correctly, reminded her of mine and shared that it was a true pleasure meeting her. A simple introduction turned a stranger into a fresh and delightful new acquaintance.

Employee Engagement__mployee Engagement_ has become a very hot topic in recent years. The escalating statistics for disengagement are alarming. In 2015, the Gallup Polls_ __he State of the American Workforce_ survey found that only 32.5 percent of the U.S. Workforce is engaged and committed where they work, and 54 percent say they would consider leaving their companies if they could receive a 20 percent raise elsewhere. Disengagement not only lowers performance, morale, and productivity, but it__ costing employers billions of dollars a year. It's a growing problem, which has many companies baffled.

Be the "Liker"__f you want to be liked, BE THE LIKER!_ This was some of the best advice my enlightened mother ever gave me. Throughout my childhood, teen years, and adulthood, this golden nugget of simple wisdom empowered me to take personal responsibility for developing friendships. When you want to reach out, make new friends, and increase your likeability factor, step up and __ike_ others first. They will usually mirror your initiative and like you back.

Why Do Some People NOT Take Initiative?_ They have a FEAR of . . . rejection, looking stupid, failing, criticism, getting out of their comfort zone, or imposing on other people._ They are unmotivated or uninspired._ They get stuck in negativity, confusion, stress, or doubt._ They don__ want to upset the apple cart or the status quo._ They are lazy, disengaged, or indifferent._ They have LACK of . . . energy, desire, confidence, self-esteem, skills, creativity, imagination, connections, resources, education.

To Move from Woe to Wow with an Unhappy Customer. . . Apologize_ Thank your customer for raising the issue._ Apologize sincerely__ever argue. _ Own the problem, even if it is not your fault._ Show genuine concern in your gestures, posture, and tone of voice._ Take your customer at their word without questioning their motives or integrity.

Years ago, I read Andrew Carnegie__ metaphor "developing people is like mining gold." He shared that sometimes you must move tons of dirt to find an ounce of gold. Every one of us has dirt because we are all imperfect and fallible. However, within each of us lies a vein of gold. When you find this treasure, regardless of how small, and begin to polish it, a person will shine so brightly the dirt falls away.

12 Simple Ways to Deliver Service Beyond Self1. Make it Easy for People to Do Business with You.2. Be an Awesome, Sincere Listener. 3. Listen to Customers_ Words and tone of voice, body language, and how they feel. Ask questions, listen, and meet them on their level. Explain, guide, educate, assist and do what is necessary to help them get the information they need to fully understand regarding their question or issue.4. Show Enthusiasm. Greet customers with genuine interest. Give them your best. Think, act, and talk with positive enthusiasm and you will attract positive results. Your attitude is contagious!5. Identify and Anticipate Needs. Most customer needs are more emotional rather than logical. 6. Under Promise & Over Deliver. Apply the principle of __ervice Beyond Self_ . . . give more than expected. Meet and exceed their expectations. If you can__ serve their needs, connect them with whoever can. 7. Make them Feel Important.Our deepest desire is to feel important. People rarely care how much you know until they know how much you care. Use their names, find ways to compliment them__nd be sincere. 8. Take Responsibility for their Satisfaction.Do whatever is necessary to help them solve their problems. Let them know that if they can__ find answers to their questions to come back to you for help.9. Treat your TEAM well. Fellow colleagues are your internal customers and need a regular dose of appreciation. Thank them and find ways to let them know how important they are. Treat your colleagues with respect; chances are they will have a higher regard for customers. 10. Choose an Attitude of Gratitude. Gratitude changes your perspective and helps you appreciate the good rather than simply taking it for granted.11. Perform, Provide and Follow-Up.Always perform or provide your service in a spirit of excellence and integrity. If you say you__e going to do something__O IT! There is tremendous value in being a resource for your customer. If you can help them to succeed, they are more likely to help you succeed. Use Gracious Words. "Thank you, thank you very much.