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When basic human needs are ignored, rejected, or invalidated by those in roles and positions to appropriately meet them; when the means by which these needs have been previously met are no longer available: and when prior abuse has already left one vulnerable for being exploited further, the stage is set for the possibility these needs will be prostituted. This situation places a survivor who has unmet needs in an incredible dilemma. She can either do without or seek the satisfaction of mobilized needs through some "illegitimate" source that leaves her increasingly divided from herself and ostracized from others.While meeting needs in this way resolves the immediate existential experience of deprivation and abandonment. it produces numerous other dif_ulties. These include experiencing oneself as __ad_ or "weak" for having such strong needs; experiencing shame and guilt for relying on __llegitimate_ sources of satisfaction: experiencing a loss of self-respect for indulging in activities contrary to personal moral standards of conduct; risking the displeasure and misunderstanding of others important to her; and opening oneself to the continued abuse and victimization of perpetrators who are all too willing to sel_hly use others for their own pleasure and purposes under the guise of being 'helpful.

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Female say Pack Leader stop,_ Pack Leader said angrily.__hat?_ Caine could make no sense of it till he saw Diana striding up, dark hair flying, eyes furious.__ told this filthy beast to stop,_ Diana said, barely controlled.__top what?_ Caine demanded.__hey__e still attacking the kids,_ Diana said. __e__e won. Sam is dead. Call them off, Caine.__aine turned his attention back to the battle between Drake and the monster. __hey__e coyotes,_ Caine said coldly.Diana flew at him. __ou__e lost your mind, Caine. This has to stop. You__e won. This has to stop.___r what, Diana? Or what?_ Caine demanded. __o get Lana. I__ hurt. Pack Leader, do what you want.___aybe this is why your mother abandoned you,_ Diana said savagely. __aybe she could see that you weren__ just bad, you were twisted and sick and evil.

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Abandoned.The word alone sends shudders down a sensitive spine, troubling the thoughts of pained souls as their hurt swells in ripples. It is a sentence of undesired solitude often pronounced on the innocent, the trusting__dministered without warning or satisfactory cause. One day the moon is yours, or so you believe. The next, his countenance transforms from Jekyll to Hyde with no intention of ever turning back, and you are left trampled upon in a deserted street, concealed by dirty fog that squelches all illumination or any hope for future rays of light. It is the worst of mysteries why a beast considered noble would forsake his duty, exhibiting a heart of stone. And all who once looked on him, now turn down their eyes and suffer, beguiled. Some poisons have no antidote, but are slow, silent, torturous ends that curl up the broken body swept into a cold, dark corner. There she is left to drown in her tears__ dying heart.Abandoned.

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There must be different kinds of loneliness, or at least different degrees of loneliness, but the most terrifying loneliness is not experienced by everyone and can be understood by only a few. I compare the panic in this kind of loneliness to the dog we see running frantically down the road pursuing the family car. He is not really being left behind, for the family knows it is to return, but for that moment in his limited understanding, he is being left alone forever, and he has to run and run to survive. It is no wonder that we make terrible choices in our lives to avoid loneliness.

CS
Charles M. Schulz

You Don't Look 35, Charlie Brown!