awkward-moments

Sometimes the silence is the loudest thing in the room.

Dear God, he prayed irreverently, was her blouse even legal?

Seeing your mother naked is not something you easily recover from. Seeing your mother naked and jumping from one side of a king-sized bed to the other with a nurse's hat on while your father, who is also naked, is chasing her with a bandanna around his neck, is reason to put yourself up for adoption.

because daytime leaves vampires less than, well, conscious, I told him, __ake your muffins to Boston and shut it, Terrance._ And then I hung up on him.

It's only awkward if it matters.

Honey, are you being safe?''I wear my seat belt, yes.''Does this Rob Lovely wear a seat belt too?'Matty sighed. 'Mother, seat belts should be worn at all times when in a moving vehicle. Didn't you teach me that?''So long as we're both talking about condoms here, then I'll leave it.''Consider it left.

If you want to call it quits, just tell me. Man up and say it to my face. Don__ just skulk around.

Quiet descended, a silence so consuming that even the drafty corridors ceased whistling. Bog wasn't certain where to look, so he solved the problem by plucking out his eyes and sticking them in a drawer.

you__ think that silence would be peaceful. but really, it__ painful.