One of the nicest things you can do is to speak kind words about someone behind his or her back.
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Many times, you are the single most significant and glorious thing that has ever happened in the lives of some people; they sit around and talk about you over and over again throughout the years while you are out there living your life, every step that you take and every kiss that you make having absolutely nothing to do with them, at all!
You want a friend in this city? [Washington, DC.] Get a dog!