chick-lit

Excerpt from page 3 of "Wicked Washington"Shelly Williams, the main character, speaking about her life:And close and dangerous calls were almost my last name. Yet I felt as comfortable among the street hustlers, junkies, thieves, and criminals of D.C. as I did dining with mywhite-collar, college-pedigreed friends over filet mignon, Maine lobster, and strawberry cheesecake at LaMermaidSeafood Restaurant.

The theory of relativity doesn't amount to a hill of beans when there's a bonfire in your shorts.

Some people say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. In actuality, you have to make an incision through his skin, both dermis and epidermis, then carefully sever and separate the sternum. Only upon viewing the exposed thoracic cavity can you reach the heart--if indeed the male of the species actually possesses such an organ.

There is no greater hell than realizing you're in love with the guy you hate.

If you don't scare the neighbors while copulating, I'm afraid you're doing something terribly wrong.

A wedding is no way to begin a marriage.

He's just a flash in the pants.

Every morning I read the obituaries. If it ain't there I make myself a cup of tea and carry on like I have the past century or so.

Dating--the socially accepted alternative to the rack.

It's not who you know, it's who you sleep with.

A woman needs a man like a tuba needs a cucumber.

I ain't taking no more rides on the stupid train.

Just when you think you have life by the tail, it's likely to whip around and take a hunk outta your balls.

I fear that someday you will abandon the joys we share and find another not worthy of your charms.

It is far better to know the painful truth than to live with a kindly falsehood.

There are 2 kinds of people in the world. Those who enjoy a nice salami and those who have no souls.

All's well so long-as you don't get shot in the hind end with a twenty gauge.

Friends are nice. You can tell' 'em stuff, but you can swear like a gangster at an enemy. And that's all right, too.