don-t-go

Oh, look, the lights are so pretty,_ I said dreamily, having just noticedthem.I smiled at the way the lights were dancing overhead, pink and yellow andblue. I felt some pressure on my arm and thought, I should look over and seewhat__ going on, but then the thought was gone, sliding away like Jell-O off ahot car hood.__ang?___eah. I__ here.__ struggled to focus on him. ____ so glad you__e here.___eah, I got that.___ don__ know what I__ do without you._ I peered up at him, trying to seepast the too-bright lights.__ou__ be fine,_ he muttered.__o,_ I said, suddenly struck by how unfine I would be. __ would be totallyunfine. Totally._ It seemed very urgent that he understand this.Again I felt some tugging on my arm, and I really wondered what that wasabout. Was Ella__ mom going to start this procedure any time soon?__t__ okay. Just relax._ He sounded stiff and nervous. __ust...relax. Don__try to talk.___ don__ want my chip anymore,_ I explained groggily, then frowned.__ctually, I never wanted that chip.___kay,_ said Fang. __e__e taking it out.___ just want you to hold my hand.___ am holding your hand.___h. I knew that._ I drifted off for a few minutes, barely aware ofanything, but feeling Fang__ hand still in mine.__o you have a La-Z-Boy somewhere?_ I roused myself to ask, every word aneffort.__m, no,_ said Ella__ voice, somewhere behind my head.__ think I would like a La-Z-Boy,_ I mused, letting my eyes drift shutagain. __ang, don__ go anywhere.___ won__. I__ here.___kay. I need you here. Don__ leave me.___ won__.___ang, Fang, Fang,_ I murmured, overwhelmed with emotion. __ love you. Ilove you sooo much._ I tried to hold out my arms to show how much, but Icouldn__ move them.__h, jeez,_ Fang said, sounding strangled.

You__e thinking, maybe it would be easier to let it sliplet it gosay __ give up_ one last time and give him a sad smile.You__e thinkingit shouldn__ be this hard,shouldn__ be this dark,thinkinglove could flow easily with no holding backand you__e seen others find their match and build something greattogether,of each other,like two halves fitting perfectly and now they achieve great thingsone by one, always together, and it seems grand.But you love him. Love him like a black stone in your chest you couldn__ live without because it fits in there. Makes you who you are and the thought of him gone__o more__akes your chest tighten up and maybe this is your fairytale. Maybe this is your castle.You could get it all on a shiny piece of glass with wooden stools and a neverending blooming gardenbut that__ not yours. This is yours. The cracks and the faults, the ugly words in the winterwalking home alone and angrybut falling asleep thinking you love him.This is your fairy tale. The quiet in the hallway, wishing for him to turn around, tell you to stay, tell you to please don__ go I need youlike you need meand maybe it__ not a Jane Austen novel but this is your novel and your castleand you can run from it your whole life but this is herein front of you.Maybe nurture it?Sweet girl, maybe close the world off and look at him for an houror two.This is your fairy. It ain__ perfect and it ain__ honey sweet with roses on the bed.It__ real and raw and ugly at times. But this is your love. Don__ throw it away searching for someone else__ love. Don__ be greedy. Instead, shelter it. Protect it. Capture every second of easy, pull through every storm of hardship. And when you can, look at him, lying next to you, trusting you not to harm him. Trusting you not to go. Be someone__ someone for someone.Be that someone for him.That__ your fairy tale. This is your castle.Now move in. Build a home. Build a house. Build a safety around things you love. It__ yours if you make it so.Welcome home, sweet girl, it will be all be fine.