humor

She may be an old flame, but she still smokin'.

If I want to catch the damn worm I get outta bed.

Hunter let go of JJ who started dusting his jacket with both hands. __ook at what you__e done to my suit man, these things don__ come cheap you know._ Garcia checked his pocket change. __ere._ He extended his hand towards JJ. __ dollar ninety-five. Go buy another one.

Jealousy. It's a terrible thing. Unless it's someone else's.

In my experience, "what the hell" is generally the most interesting decision.

A pigs and pain, until you really get to know 'em. Then he's a paid with the soul.

I don't need no PMS. I can bitch under my own steam.

Dating is like nightfall--there's got to be a mourning after.

You really don't know a person until you spend some time in their panties.

I'd rather be pissed off then pissed on.

Let us talk about oxymoron, common sense, for instance.

Luck is merely a product of the happily delusional mind.

I'm just an everyday kind of hero. If the everyday kind saves babies from burning buildings and looks hotter than hell in bunker gear.

It's not as if I don't like men, I just have more respect for my washing machine.

Trust is important to any relationship_ and easier to come by if you get a picture of a guy's wife buck naked.

You are a perfect woman, a magical blend of beauty, intelligence, and spirit. Without you, my life is nothing.

There are lots of fish in the sea. Some are sharks, some are angels, and some are bottom feeders.

A balanced diet and a brisk daily walk will help keep you healthy, but there's nothing like a good-looking young man with a nice butt to help up your cardiovascular system.