Find what is beautiful in a person and appreciate it. Ignore what is wrong.
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A refusal on the part of psychiatrists and therapists to validate the horrors of their patients' tortured past implies a refusal to take seriously the unconscious psychological mechanisms that individuals need to use to protect themselves from the unspeakable. Such a denial is, however, no longer ethical, for it is in the human capacity to dissociate that lies part of the secret of both childhood abuse and the horrors of the Nazi genocide, both forms of human violence so often carried out by 'respectable' men and women.
Find what is beautiful in a person and appreciate it. Ignore what is wrong. Everyone has divine beauty but underneath can be a hidden diabolical ego.