kaylea-cross

I miss him,_ she whispered, her voice cracking. His heart constricted at the grief on her face. __ know, honey._ He lifted a hand to stroke the soft waves of her hair. A soothing, reassuring gesture, but to him it meant so much more. His muscles knotted with the need to cup her face between his hands and kiss her the way he__ been dying to for so long. He wanted to kiss away the sadness and the grief, replace it with the heat and tenderness burning inside him.

A quiet peacefulness stole through him, dimming the sharp sense of loss. His arms contracted around her, the pressure fierce. ____ coming to find you once the trial__ over,_ he murmured against the top of her head. She kissed his chest. __ou__ better._ __e__e not done,_ he told her. __ot by a long shot._ She hummed in agreement and caressed his chest with her fingertips. Nate stroked the length of her spine, savoring the silky texture of her skin. He missed her already and she was still lying naked in his arms. __ust a few more days and this__l all be over._ __on__ make me wait too long, okay?_ __ won__._ He leaned his head back, tipped her chin up with one hand until she met his eyes. If there was even a tiny part of her that doubted his intentions, he wanted that cleared up now. ____e never felt like this about anyone before._ Her eyes softened and she smiled that serene smile that soothed him deep inside. __e neither._ He could drown in this woman and die a happy man. He admired her so damn much. __ou__e strong, baby. So much stronger than you even realize. You__e got this._ __ave I got you, though?_ Normally the question would have freaked him out. Hearing it from her made him feel insanely possessive. __eah, you__e got me, baby._ He was falling so hard and so fast, and it didn__ even faze him. __hen I can handle everything else on my own,_ she whispered, and pulled his mouth down to hers.

Releasing a slow breath, she raised her chin and finally turned her gaze on Qureshi. The moment their gazes connected she felt a surge of power go through her. Throughout her nine hellish months of captivity, she__ been forbidden to look him in the eye. She__ known better than to even try, because she__ known what would happen to her if she did. But they weren__ in Afghanistan anymore and he was no longer the one calling the shots. She held the authority now. Her life, her opinions, had value here. And her voice, silenced for so long, would now speak for all the victims unable to. Her voice would not only be heard here in this courtroom__t would be his undoing.Qureshi stared back at her with an insolent, almost bored disdain on his scratched face, making it clear what he thought of her. To him she was nothing but an infidel whore, a commodity less valuable than a goat or mule, to be bought and sold whenever it suited him, handed out to one of his soldiers as a prize of war. Well this infidel whore is about to bury you, you son of a bitch. Holding that cold, hateful gaze in the taut, hushed silence that filled the courtroom, she sent him another silent message. Let him see it in her eyes. You didn__ break me. I__ no longer afraid of you. You no longer have the power to hurt me or anyone I care about. And by God, I__l make sure you never have the chance to hurt anyone else again.

What is_ She flipped through a few pages, looked up into his eyes. __s this_?_ __y journal,_ he said, reaching out to glide a knuckle down her cheek. Her skin was so damn soft. She was a contradiction in terms to him, and one that he found endlessly fascinating: a woman with the inner strength to rival any Spec Ops member he__ ever known, yet she had such a kind, soft heart beneath that hard-won armor. Resilient. Independent yet willing to compromise. Formidable in her confidence and strength of will, yet gentle and loving. He loved her so hard it hurt. __ bought it the night after you stayed at my place,_ he continued. __ knew if I was going to have a real shot with you going forward then I needed to get my shit together once and for all. You said the writing thing really helped you so I called my counselor and talked to her about it. She thought it would be good for me too. So I wrote in it every day since. I__e been working hard at it._ Taya leafed through the pages until she came to the end and looked back up into his eyes. __t__ full._ __eah. Guess I had a lot to say._ The tenderness in her eyes slayed him. __athan, I__ so proud of you._ Her pride in him made him feel twenty feet tall. He let out a relieved breath. __ want to read it to you. That__ my next step, if you__e okay with it._ __f course it__ okay. I__ love for you to read it to me, as long as you feel comfortable doing it._ __hat__ the thing, I am. And I wouldn__ be with anyone else except you. You make me feel_whole._ He didn__ know how else to say it, how else to explain himself, except he needed her to know he was trying like hell to deal with his issues. __ know I__e got a long way to go before I get to the same place you__e at, but I__ willing to put in the work to get there. I feel safe with you and I__ ready to move forward, let go of all the stuff that happened before. Like you said, I__ doing it for me. I__ sick of my past having any kind of hold over me. So I__ going to do whatever it takes to make peace with it._ Her answering smile lit up her whole face, made her gray eyes sparkle like gems. __hen I__l gladly listen to whatever you want to say._ Warmth kindled in his chest. She did that; warmed him from the inside out, just by being her. __ood, because I love you._ She froze, her eyes widening slightly. He nodded, laughed at her shocked expression. __ep, I love you. That__ what I came here to say. I love you and I__ a better man because of it, but not as good a man as I__l be down the road if you stand by me._ Her eyes filled with tears and she flung her arms around him. __ love you too,_ she blurted out against his neck. __o, so much. And of course I__l stand by you._ Nate felt like his heart might burst. He hugged her hard. __ould you move to Virginia with me? When your dad__ strong enough. I know you need to be here for a while longer, but after that, I want you in my bed every night so I can wake up beside you each morning._ She gave a soggy laugh, her face still buried in his neck. __here you go again with the romance._ __h, baby, have I got plans for you._ He stroked a hand over her back, fascinated by the combination of softness and strength that was uniquely her. Then his stomach rumbled, making her smile. He was starving, hadn__ eaten since lunchtime. __ey, you wouldn__ happen to have any bacon in the house, would you? Because I__ kill for a BLT right now.

I got your flowers. They__e beautiful, thank you._ A gorgeous riot of Gerber daisies and lilies in a rainbow of reds, pinks, yellows and oranges. __elcome. Bet Duncan loved sending one of his guys out to pick them up for me._ She could hear the smile in his voice, imagined the devilish twinkle in his eyes. __h, he did. Said it__ probably the first time in the history of WITSEC that a U.S. Marshal delivered flowers to one of their witnesses._ A low chuckle. __ell, this was a special circumstance, so they helped me out._ __ loved the card you sent with them the best though._ Proud of you. Give __m hell tomorrow. He__ signed it Nathan rather than Nate, which had made her smile. __ had no idea you were romantic,_ she continued. __ll these interesting things I__ learning about you._ She hadn__ been able to wipe the silly smile off her face after one of the security team members had knocked on her door and handed them to her with a goofy smile and a, __pecial delivery_. __aby, you haven__ seen anything yet. When the trial__ done you__e gonna get all the romance you can handle, and then some._ __eally?_ Now that was something for a girl to look forward to, and it sure as hell did the trick in taking her mind off her worries. __ell I__ all intrigued, because it__ been forever since I was romanced. What do you have in mind? Candlelit dinners? Going to the movies? Long walks? Lazy afternoon picnics?_ __ot gonna give away my hand this early on, but I__l take those into consideration._ __nd what__ the key to your heart, by the way? I mean, other than the thing I did to you this morning._ __hat thing is that? Refresh my memory,_ he said, a teasing note in his voice. She smiled, enjoying the light banter. It felt good to let her worry about tomorrow go and focus on what she had to look forward to when this was all done. Being with him again, seeing her family, getting back to her life. A life that would hopefully include Nathan in a romantic capacity. __aking you up with my mouth._ He gave a low groan. __ loved every second of it. But think simpler._ Simpler than sex? For a guy like him? __ood, then. I bet you__e a sucker for a home-cooked meal. Am I right?_ He chuckled. __hat works too, but it__ still not the key._ __hen what?_ __ou._ She blinked, her heart squeezing at the conviction behind his answer. __e?_ __eah, just you. And maybe bacon,_ he added, a smile in his voice. He was so freaking adorable. __o you__e saying if I made and served you a BLT, you__ be putty in my hands?_ Seemed hard to imagine, but okay. A masculine rumble filled her ears. __od, yeah._ She couldn__ help the sappy smile that spread across her face. __ow, you are easy. And I can definitely arrange that._ __ can hardly wait. Will you serve it to me naked? Or maybe wearing just a frilly little apron and heels?_ She smothered a laugh, but a clear image of her doing just that popped into her head, serving him the sandwich in that sexy outfit while watching his eyes go all heated. __epends on how good you are._ __h, baby, I__l be so good to you, you have no idea.

Then he made the mistake of looking into her eyes and froze. Her expression was so open, so full of tenderness and longing as well as heat that he almost balked. This was supposed to be about closure, about having the goodbye they__ never gotten last time. How was he supposed to leave after if she gave herself to him this completely? Her hand came up to cradle the side of his face, her thumb stroking back and forth across his jaw, her touch gentle and loving. __eed you,_ she murmured,It was good. Even better than he remembered. Liam buried his face in the side of her neck and sucked in a breath, struggling to hang on. Being cradled in Honor__ arms, buried to the hilt inside her while she opened her body and heart to him was the most incredible thing in the world. How the f*&^ was he going to walk away later? Without warning his eyes began to sting. As though she sensed how close he was to coming unglued, Honor murmured to him and pressed kisses to the side of his face, her hand urging his head to turn toward her. Liam shook his head, unable to bear that final level of intimacy when he knew this was their last time. Keeping his face in her neck he fought back the swell of emotion and began to move, a slow, shallow rocking motion that was more profound than words could ever be. He loved her. Would always love her, but it wasn__ enough because some things couldn__ be undone and he just couldn__ let her in the way he had before. All they had left was this bittersweet farewell, and he was going to make it memorable. .... A lump settled in his throat and he squeezed his eyes shut, torn between the excruciating pleasure swelling inside him and the need to see her face as he took her this last time. In the end, his heart won out. Powerless to stop himself, he lifted his head and looked down at her. Anguish sliced through his chest when he saw the tears glistening in her beautiful eyes. Don__. Don__ cry. Shit, he didn__ want either of them to hurt anymore. He was sick of hurting. That__ why he was ending it all tonight. With a low sound of regret he covered her mouth with his, his tongue sliding against hers as he took her. Honor kissed him back deep and slow...Cupping her cheek with his free hand he gave her everything he had left to give, allowing his emotional shields to drop for these final moments.She ran her fingertips up and down his back in a soothing motion, her body limp and pliant beneath his, legs still wrapped around him. And all of a sudden he felt like crying. He felt too much, was in too deep again.He didn__ know what to say to make this any easier. After what they__ just shared he was more conflicted than ever about what to do. ____l miss you,_ she murmured, and he caught the slight catch in her voice. Ah, fu&%. He gritted his teeth. It would be so much easier if they could just hate each other. For a moment he considered saying something to make her do exactly that, but couldn__. Even he wasn__ enough of an a**hole to end things that way. And that look on her face_ Against his better judgment, Liam sat back down on the edge of the bed and pulled her into his arms. Honor went willingly into his embrace, pressing her face to his chest as she hugged him tight in return. ____l miss you too._ Dammit, he should never have come here tonight. __ wish it could be different, but I just_ I can__ do this anymore._ I__l always love you but I can__ afford to let you back in again. ____ sorry.

Don__ do this,_ he begged hoarsely against her temple, crumbling inside. Honor wasn__ the type to make empty threats or do something like this on a whim. No, she meant it and was prepared to go through with it. He had one last shot to change her mind, right now, before he lost her forever. So no, even he wasn__ above begging if that__ what it took to make her stay and work this out. __ou said you still love me,_ he whispered brokenly. He was holding onto that for all it was worth. It had to be enough. He squeezed her tighter. __ know you__e scared and I know you__e hurting but_ Don__ do this. Don__ walk away. Please._ Don__ leave me. She__ never know how much it cost him to beg her this way, but he was so damn scared right now he didn__ care how pathetic it made him look. He__ do or say f-ing whatever it took to get her to listen to reason, make her change her mind. Anything except agreeing to live a lie and hide his true feelings for her from the rest of the world, no matter what the reason. A sob tore out of her. Honor stopped shoving at him. She wound her arms around his back and squeezed so hard he felt the muscles in her arms tremble. Liam closed his eyes and pressed his face against her hair, that painful bubble of hope surfacing again. He could feel her torment, her pain. If he could just calm her down long enough to get her to listen, really listen and then think this through_ __weet pea, just listen to me,_ he began softly. __o, I can__._ Honor tore away from him and grabbed the doorknob. Before he could recover enough to reach out and stop her, she__ slammed the door shut behind her. Gone.

How many times do I have to say I__ sorry before you believe it? That I acknowledge I made a terrible mistake and have done everything I know how to fix it? How can you just freeze me out after that and walk away from everything we had?_ Hurt and resentment swelled inside him, mixing with the anger in a toxic, chaotic mess. __ou walked away first,_ he shot back. __hat was your choice._ Then I made mine. It was a low blow, even if it was true. But he refused to feel guilty about it, even under the circumstances. He hadn__ wanted to have this conversation, but she__ insisted, and he wouldn__ lie to her about the way things stood. Honor__ chin came up, her tears evaporating as her eyes sparked with fresh anger. __ did,_ she admitted quietly, her control merely emphasizing the loss of his own. __ did walk away and it was the absolute worst mistake of my life. I__ sorry, Liam. See? I__ a big enough person to admit it to your face. Are you?

Then her brain caught up with her body and a trickle of uncertainty slid through her. She stilled, heart pounding, body aching with the most intense desire she__ ever known. Nathan stopped and raised his head to look down at her, his hand still cupping her breast. He was breathing as hard as she was, his eyes glittering with a hunger so raw it sliced her inside. When she didn__ say anything he started to remove his hand but she tightened her grip and held him there as she gazed into his eyes. __ can__ be just another notch on your belt, Nathan,_ she whispered in an agonized voice. Not with him, it would crush her. If that__ all she was to him, she would rather stop things here than continue. She__ already battled long and hard to overcome feeling cheap and used. She wouldn__ do it again for any man, not even Nathan. The anguished look on his face made her feel terrible for saying it, but she__ had to make it clear. __o,_ he insisted, leaning down to rest his forehead against hers and closing his eyes. She could feel the urgency in him, the way it strung his muscles tight, the fingers in her hair sliding open to cradle the back of her skull. The protective, possessive gesture made her melt and lean into his hold. __o, you__e not, I swear to God you__e not.