loss-of-child

Why are the photographs of him as a little boy so incredibly hard to look at? Something is over. Now instead of those shiny moments being things we can share together in delighted memories, I, the survivor, have to bear them alone. So it is with all the memories of him. They all lead into blackness. All I can do is remember him, I cannot experience him. Nothing new can happen between us.

How I hate this world. I would like to tear it apart with my own two hands if I could. I would like to dismantle the universe star by star, like a treeful of rotten fruit. Nor do I believe in progress. A vermin-eaten saint scratching his filth for heaven is better off than you damned in clean linen. Progress doubles our tenure in a vale of tears. Man is a mistake, to be corrected only by his abolition, which he gives promise of seeing to himself. Oh, let him pass, and leave the earth to the flowers that carpet the earth wherever he explodes his triumphs. Man is inconsolable, thanks to that eternal "Why?" when there is no Why, that question mark twisted like a fishhook in the human heart. "Let there be light," we cry, and only the dawn breaks.

...I__ tired of everyone looking at me with pity in their eyes. I__ tired of feeling like my heart is being ripped out of my chest every damned day. I__ tired of waking up in the morning, and then remembering...

She loved beyond measure, When I was young I thought her cold. But in time I came to understand that she was too tender for the world she__ been born into,_ I said. Sorrow gave Dalia an iron gift. Behind that hard shelter, sheloved boundlessly in the distance and privacy of her solitude, safe fromthe tragic rains of her fate.

I think about the people I know with the absolutely largest hearts, people with a stunning capacity for endurance and grace and kindness against the most screaming terrors and pains. My Mom and Dad, for example, enduring the death of their first child at six months old, the boy the brother I never met, dying quietly in his stroller on the porch in the moment that my mother stepped back inside to get a pair of gloves because the crisp brilliant April wind was filled with a whistling cutting wind.... Fifty years later after five more children and two miscarriages she is standing in the kitchen with her usual eternal endless cup of tea and I ask her: How do you get over the death of your child? And she says, in her blunt honest direct terse kind way, You don't. Her face harrowed like a hawk for a moment in the swirling steam of the tea.p112-13

When you look back with regret, that (regret, loss) becomes your focus. Then your focus directs you: you go back to that _ again and again.Look forward now _ and focus on your passions with joyful anticipation.Then your passion will fill the gap of your loss...and where you land us will amaze you!

When you look back with regret, that (regret, loss) becomes your focus. Then your focus directs you: you go back to that _ again and again.Choose a new rudder: Look forward now _ and focus on your passion with joyful anticipation.Then your passion will fill the empty space of your loss...and where you land up will amaze you!

ParentNothing _ No One Prepares a parent to raise the childNothing _ No One Can ever prepare a parent to bear the loss of child

Death doesn't happen instantly. For a little while, you hover around your body, confused. What you want more than anything is to go home, to be safe, to know you're okay. But my life was over.