nina-lacour

When you live in LA and work in the movies, you experience the collapse of some of that fantasy. You know that the eyes glow like that because of lights placed at a specific angle, and you see the actresses up close and, yes, they are beautiful, but they are human size and imperfect like the rest of us.

My best friend is dead, and I could have saved her. It__ so wrong so completely and painfully wrong, that I walked through my front door tonight smiling.

When the bell rings, and lunch is over, I decide to come back here tomorrow, and the next day. I tell myself it really isn__ that bad.

My room is so quiet and empty it hurts.

I want to confess. I thought that her story was comprised of scenes. I thought the tragedy could be glamorous and her grief could be undone by a sunnier future. I thought we could pinpoint dramatic events on a time line and call it a life.But I was wrong.

He is Romeo, and he is heartbroken. Every word is wistful. When he says, 'O, teach me how I should forget to think!' I, for the first time, see what the big deal is about Shakespeare.

I was such a quiet kid, so shy and calm and in my own head. Of course I knew about being sad. Maybe that's the reason I saved all the things I thought were pretty.

I__l make a swing so I can reach the places I can__ reach yet.

I sleep through the next day. Each time I go to the bathroom, I try not to look in the mirror. Once, I catch my reflection: it looks like I__e been punched in both eyes.I can__ talk about the day that follows that.