The price for being intelligent enough to be the first species to be fully aware of the cosmos might just be a capacity to feel a whole universe__ worth of darkness.
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reasons-to-stay-alive
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But it only takes a doubt. A drop of ink falls into a clear glass of water and clouds the whole thing. So the moment after I realised I wasn't perfectly well was the moment I realised I was still very ill indeed.
And for three weeks I was trapped in my own mind again. But this time, I had weapons. One of them, maybe the most important, was this knowledge: I have been ill before, then well again. Wellness is possible.