To the left, just past the painting, on the other side of the hall, is the bathroom, the sort of open door that if cameras found it as they passed through the house in a horror movie would trigger a blast of synthesizers.
I wish they'd conduct a national poll to find out who feels out of place and who doesn't. Just to get the numbers, you know? To get a feel for how many of us there are. Sometimes at work I get the feeling that it's got to be right up against 100%. I__l head out to the register to help out during the lunch rush and the new cashier will look so confused and lost, and then I__l look at the customers she__ supposed to be helping, and they__l look lost, too, and then when I sneak a glance toward the tables there__l be all these people staring at their food or at each other with blank looks in their eyes. And I__l think: Is this just me? Is everybody else actually fine, and I__ just trying to imagine that they__e like me? But I don__ think so. I__e thought about this a lot, and I__ pretty sure that some ridiculous percentage of the population is walking around feeling like aliens. I think teenagers feel that all the time...
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I wish they'd conduct a national poll to find out who feels out of place and who doesn't. Just to get the numbers, you know? To get a feel for how many of us there are. Sometimes at work I get the feeling that it's got to be right up against 100%. I__l head out to the register to help out during the lunch rush and the new cashier will look so confused and lost, and then I__l look at the customers she__ supposed to be helping, and they__l look lost, too, and then when I sneak a glance toward the tables there__l be all these people staring at their food or at each other with blank looks in their eyes. And I__l think: Is this just me? Is everybody else actually fine, and I__ just trying to imagine that they__e like me? But I don__ think so. I__e thought about this a lot, and I__ pretty sure that some ridiculous percentage of the population is walking around feeling like aliens. I think teenagers feel that all the time...
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Now, Mr. Antonio. I understand that there are people who are close to you who want me dead.___o, mija. They don__ want you dead.___hen explain this._ I handed him the picture.He chuckled again.__o, they don__ want you dead. That would be too easy. They want revenge.__old sweat broke out all over me, but I kept my face calm. I looked at him straight in the eye.__ell, then they are going to be quite disappointed, aren__ they?_ I flashed my teeth at him.__enorita, you might want to warn Senor Smith, you see, my nephew he doesn__ like to share, and if he sees another man after you, he__l get very, eh, aggressive._ The silver fox looked at me and winked.__h, he won__ have to worry._ I said as I was walking out the door. __ doubt he will be alive long enough to know Agent Smith.__hen I slammed the door.
I think of what it means to be a teenager in America, necessarily pushing boundaries, making expected mistakes. Here there is no margin for error: a mistake, no matter how insignificant, dashes any small hopes to break the cycle of poverty. Here in Kibera the world is relentless and unforgiving.
If this was mental illness, or even just a particularly clinical case of adolescence, I was bearing up pretty well.
I__ always the one who doesn__ have a date, the one guys walk up to and say, __o, is your friend, you know, with someone?_ and I may not be the only girl without someone, but it feels like it sometimes. A lot of the time.
And you_ do you know what you are?___tupid?___eautiful,_ he says, his face turning red.