Carrie Jones

Who am I really? Am I still the same person if I'm not even technically a person anymore? Does being stronger make me different? Will it?

The secret of happiness is freedom, the secret of freedom is courage.

Is that Disney magic of pixie magic?" I kid... "It is life magic".

It's a lot easier to understand things once you name them. It's the unknown that mostly freaks me out. I don't know the name of that fear, but I know I've got it, the fear of the unknown.

He__ fine. Every time any of us are late you imagine we__e dead. You are no longer allowed to imagine anyone is dead._____ not imagining he__ dead,_ I whisper, but I__ totally imagining him bleeding to death on the snowy forest floor. Crows circle above him. A pixie arrow juts out of his beautiful chest. It__ the same thing I imagined about Devyn last week when he forgot to check in.__ou are such a liar-liar pants-on-fire._ Is kisses my cheek in her sweet friend way. __ut I love you.___ just worry about people,_ I whisper back. __f I__ not the one out there I feel so helpless.__oach Walsh notices we__e talking. __irls, pay attention. And no kissing.__veryone starts snickering. I let go of Issie__ goose-bump covered arm. My face gets hot, which means I__ in insane blush mode. Nick thinks insane blush mode is cute. I bend down and check on my ankle bracelet that Nick gave me. It__ gold and thin-chained. A tiny dolphin dangles off of it. The dolphin reminds me of Charleston because they swim right off the Battery. Next to it dangles a heart, which just reminds me of love__orny but true. I__ so afraid of losing the anklet, but I can__ take it off. I adore it that much.

Losing people you love affects you. It is buried inside of you and becomes this big, deep hole of ache. It doesn't magically go away, even when you stop officially mourning.

You know, life fractures all of us into little pieces. It harms us, but it__ how we glue those fractures back together that makes us stronger.

You will be a great queen when you come back, you know. And someday you'll love me the way you love your wolf.

You know, life fractures us all into little pieces. It harms us, but it's how we glue those fractures back together that make us stronger.

I just run faster and hit the slowest of the lead boys. I wink and race by him. He smells like onions and he has big, wet circles in the pits of his shirt. He speeds up, but can only stay with me for a tenth of a mile before he drops back. Then it__ Nick.I cruise next to him. He__ some sort of running god, because he isn__ close to being winded. His stride is long, powerful, and quick.__i.__hy I said this, I do not know. He__ cute. Okay. I am a sucker for cute boys and he was nice to Issie. Plus, he has good hair and he isn__ as pale as most Maine males. He looks like he works in the sun, or at least has seen the sun once, maybe many weeks ago. Plus, life is all supposed to be about making love, not war. My dad listened to John Lennon; I know this stuff.__ou__e fast,_ he says, easy. No huffing. No puffing. No blowing the house down.__o are you.__e run together, keeping pace. The only one ahead of us is Ian, who is loping around the track as if it__ nothing.Nick shrugs at me while he runs, which is really something, because when I__ running full tilt it__ hard for me to speak, let alone break form to shrug.__ou can go faster, can__ you?_ I huff out.He just gives a little smile again and then his eyes shift into something cold, like gravestones with just the barest information about a life etched onto them.__ara,_ he whisper-says.I lean in closer to hear him. __hat?__y voice is not a whisper. It matches the thudding beat of my heart, the bass of the music that blares out of the speakers.__wesome job, new girl!_ Devyn yells, clapping.

... no one can ever save someone else, you know? We can only save ourselves. You know that, don't you?

It's hard to save the world when you can't save yourself

We teleported," Issie finishes. "Like in Star Trek or Harry Potter, sort of. No! Like in Dr. Who in that episode with the Sontarans and the brilliant human boy, or really any Dr. Who ever if you think of the Tardis! Holy canola! That is just the coolest thing ever! Wowie, wow, wow!

I used to be embarrassed by my mom, but now I know what she is__he__ a hero.

Nick bumps my shoulder with his, playfully. He kicks up some extra snow on purpose, whishing it onto my knees.__ou__e lucky you__e cute,_ I tell him.__eally?___specially with that doggy breath.__e scoops up some snow, makes it into a ball, bounces his hand up and down. __ake that back.__ giggle. __ope.__ bend down to grab some snow and topple headfirst. The cold of it bites into my cheeks. I try to push myself up, but I can__. I__ all awkward and clumsy with the snowshoes on.Nick laughs.I struggle some more.He grabs me under my arms and hauls me up. Smiling, he sticks out his tongue, and with tiny little movements starts licking the snow off my cheeks. It should be disgusting. It__ not. It__ all warm, and good feeling, and amazing. I close my eyes and let him.__ou smell good,_ he whispers.__ haven__ showered.___oesn__ matter, you smell good.__is voice, sensual and warm, mellows me.Our lips touch and part, touch again. I breathe him in. He moves his face away a little and studies me. I smile. I can__ help it.__ like you,_ I say. __ lot. Even with the whole werewolf thing.__e smiles back. __ like you too.___ lot?___m-hmm,_ he says, leaning in for another kiss. __ wicked lot.

Nick stands behind me. He puts a hand on my waist.I yank in a breath. The world seems to swirl around me.__re you going to faint?_ he asks.I back into him and blurt, __ut you__e so cute. Werewolves aren__ supposed to be cute. Vampires are, I think. They are in the movies. But the werewolves are pretty much ugly and they wear leather jackets and are all dirty with these monster sideburns.___hat__ all you have to say? That I__ cute?_ He takes a stray piece of my hair and curls it around his fingers. __ost people faint or shriek or never talk to me again.

Dimples crinkle up the skin near his lips. I will not look at his lips. How can he never have used those? That__ a crime against humanity right there.

I push my thigh against his. __ell, thank God.___hank God what?_ he asks. His hand slowly rubs up and down the place where my shoulder meets my arm. It makes me good shiver.__hat I don__ have a neck brace. It__ hard to rock a neck brace, especially if we__e still going to that dance.__e leans in and kisses my nose. __f anyone could do it, you could.__ tilt my head so our lips meet.__ormonal ones, I am right here. Me. The old lady otherwise known as your grandmother,_ Betty says.__orry. He__ just irresistible,_ I say, settling back against him.__ell, try to resist the irresistible,_ Betty says knowingly as the truck bumps over a pothole.