Dark Jar Tin Zoo

I love like I__ thirsty. Can I offer you a tall glass of Sahara sand?_

Love is inaudible__ntil you hear it. And once you do, you__l never forget the sound of her voice._

She gave me money to buy condoms, and instead I bought a book of baby names. That__ life. That__ love. That__ fiscally irresponsible._

If I could bronze my love, it__ be worthy of a silver medal._

She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, __inner was great, but I could go for dessert.

Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer._

I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep.

I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy._

Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god._

To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken._

If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband__ murder._

I had a dream about you. At first you were a mannequin, and I was a fashion designer. Then, inexplicably, we switched roles and I became the mannequin. But instead of putting clothes on me, you laughed at my nakedness, and you sold me to the owner of a sex shop. _

I had a dream about you. You looked like you, but you also looked like a mannequin. And I looked like me, but I also looked like a mannequin. Between the two of us, we were too fake even for Hollywood. And as such, we were forced to reside in Washington DC._

I had a dream about you. In my dream I stole all your money, kidnapped your parents, and mailed you mannequin parts spray-painted red in a series of packages that also included ransom notes. Then, towards the end of the dream, the cops surrounded my cave and swarmed in to arrest me. Sweating, my eyes shot open, and I realized it was a dream. __f course it__ a dream,_ I thought. __he cops have no idea where my cave is, and your first package has yet to be delivered.__

I had a dream about you. We installed Dr. Robert Jarvik__ artificial heart in a mannequin and brought it to life, only to later kill it because a creature that__ all fake heart and no brain is what__ commonly called a __olitician,_ and must be destroyed._

Love is like encountering a forest and having to chop down every tree but one. Oh, and you have to chop down each tree by hugging it until it falls._

I love that she loves me a 10, on a 5-point scale. Well, I know it__ a 5-point scale, though I asked her on a 1-100 scale._

I make love like a snake disguised as an elephant and a donkey. But I mustn__ talk about sexual congress and Congress simultaneously._