Josh Stern

If the love is not madness, then the sex is not insane

Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs

It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing

Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down

The only way I__ ever die of a broken heart, is if I slammed into something really hard

If a picture paints a thousand words, then a naked picture paints a thousand words without any vowels....

When it comes to relationships, I find it best to have two feet out the door

It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the blame

I try not to take things lying down, especially rectal thermometers

I've always been a poor sport and a sore loser...any other behavior might encourage a repeat performance

It's not that I'm ahead of my time, it's more that the world is running late

Date rape is just plain moronic when you consider how slutty figs are

Don't be so hard on yourself....that's what a loofah's for

I'd die for your sins, but I'd probably enjoy them first

the only drinking problem I've ever had, is figuring out why I'm still stuck in this salad spinner

it can't be wrong, if it feels so wrong

You always miss 100% of the shots you don't order

I love shark week, all kids swim for free