Shannon Mullen

He nods, looking through the pictures on the screen on the back of his camera. Some relationships can only exist as memories. But unlike ephemeral digital images that can be sorted and deleted, we can__ erase the past. We have to learn to live with all the images that are stored in love's archive, memories tagged good and bad. No Photoshopping. Accept the negative before moving forward.

Sleeping is much safer than the nightmare I__ living. When I sleep I feel nothing and I do nothing and I see nothing and nothing matters and no one cares. There__ no one to hurt or disappoint or notice when I__ low and I don__ need to face anyone not anyone in the world or not even myself.

It is not the darkness of shadows: one that follows you, haunts you, terrifies you. Instead, it consumes you, becomes you, weighs you down. It IS you. It is comforting. Familiar. I have walked with it. Eaten with it. Loved with it. Smiled with it. Yet I feel it destroying me.Like cancer.But I can__ remove it. It stays inside of me, taunting me to kill it, myself, but it does not realize that this seduction keeps me alive.

Who am I fooling? Bad dreams never end. We just pretend they aren__ there.

Her eyes remind me of the Pacific: Raging. Fearless. Restless.

That__ what mountains do, they taunt you, lure you to the freedom of the wilderness, and it is fucking exhilarating.

When you__e in the wild, there__ nothing to hide behind. No bars or credit cards or movie theatres or cell phones or credentials or security. You__e just alone with yourself. You look around and lose yourself in the mountains, rivers, forests or tundra, but you can see nothing except for the chaos in your own mind. It is fucking terrifying and peaceful at the same time.

Maybe the truth doesn__ exist if you look the other way.

Family is the most important thing in this life.

Can I Tinder swipe for cat cuddles?

I guess all the time I spend on social media has made me believe that love exists above the surface, that it__ supposed to be light all of the time.

Perhaps love in the digital age is more like Netflix binge-watching: we enjoy bursts of fantasy, and then move on to something else when it__ done. Like browsing for a new series on Netflix, if the relationship doesn__ fit perfectly, you can trade it in for something new with the click of a button or a swipe on your phone.

She can__ worry. She can__ __ix._ She can__ love.

Of course her dumb Lab__ going to do whatever it takes to retrieve the ball. What he craves more than freedom is companionship.

How can any of us even know what to believe anymore? Our culture__ full of so much phoniness and deception. Companies advertise products to make us believe that we will be more beautiful, more healthy, or live longer by consuming their products. We are seduced by lovers who feed their porn addictions when we__e asleep. We__e taught to believe that if we work hard and take risks, that we can achieve our dreams, yet youth unemployment is the highest it__ been in decades. Fairytales tell us that true love exists, but half of all marriages end in divorce.

Can you revive wilted tulips?

As I accept the flowers, I release my grip on the balloons, and they bounce gently against the ceiling the way they did before__overing, annoyed, frustrated, contained by the ceiling and disappointed by the limits of life.

Maybe love__ more than the daily comforts: more than morning coffees and flowers and notes in my lunch bag and holding hands while watching the stars. It__ about never giving up, believing in each other, and supporting each other through the good and the bad.