Will Rogers

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

The best way out of a difficulty is through it.

The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you.

Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.

Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.

Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth.

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.

There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.

The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'

We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.

I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.

I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.

You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.

Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week.

Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.