Will Rogers

Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it.

It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.

The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.

Politics is applesauce.

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

A fool and his money are soon elected.

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.

If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.

Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.