Horror immobolizes us because it is made of contradictory feelings: fear and seduction, repulsion and attraction. Horror is a fascination...Horror is immobility, the great yawn of empty space, the womb and the hole in the earth, the universal Mother and the great garbage heap...With horror we cannot have recourse to flight or combat, there remains only Adoration or Exorcism.
Mother knocked once on my door and walked in my room to see me on my bed with the book tight in my grasp. She looked at my night dress and smiled. __xpecting company?_ She asked. I flushed. __t was a gift from Aunt Rose. It is only fair that I wear it considering I do not see her that often anymore._ My voice was firm as I looked down at my night dress. The fabric was silky, and the color was minty-green. It made my skin tone much more noticeable and it made my hair stand out from the rest of me. __re you sure you are not expecting Alexander?_ She asked me sitting at the edge of my bed with a smile not only on her face, but in her eyes. __hy do you insist I dress for him?_ I returned. __ did not insist that,_ Mother answered softly. __ was simply curious as to why you were wearing it. Plus,_ Mother flashed me a bright smile. __ saw Alexander walking around the corridor a few minutes ago._ My heart raced. Mother could see my reaction to that and looked back at my night dress. __t is a very pretty dress; I just wish you were to get it in a year or two from now. It seems so_._ __rown up?_ I offered. __ suppose it does, yes,_ Mother agreed quietly. She ran her hand on the lace that covered the bottom rim of the dress and said, __owever the word I was going to say was_suggestive.
Finding Redemption
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Mother knocked once on my door and walked in my room to see me on my bed with the book tight in my grasp. She looked at my night dress and smiled. __xpecting company?_ She asked. I flushed. __t was a gift from Aunt Rose. It is only fair that I wear it considering I do not see her that often anymore._ My voice was firm as I looked down at my night dress. The fabric was silky, and the color was minty-green. It made my skin tone much more noticeable and it made my hair stand out from the rest of me. __re you sure you are not expecting Alexander?_ She asked me sitting at the edge of my bed with a smile not only on her face, but in her eyes. __hy do you insist I dress for him?_ I returned. __ did not insist that,_ Mother answered softly. __ was simply curious as to why you were wearing it. Plus,_ Mother flashed me a bright smile. __ saw Alexander walking around the corridor a few minutes ago._ My heart raced. Mother could see my reaction to that and looked back at my night dress. __t is a very pretty dress; I just wish you were to get it in a year or two from now. It seems so_._ __rown up?_ I offered. __ suppose it does, yes,_ Mother agreed quietly. She ran her hand on the lace that covered the bottom rim of the dress and said, __owever the word I was going to say was_suggestive.
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My old man's a white old manAnd my old mother's black.If ever I cursed my white old manI take my curses back.If ever I cursed my black old motherAnd wished she were in hell,I'm sorry for that evil wishAnd now i wish her wellMy old man died in a fine big houseMy Ma died in a shack.I wonder were i'm going to die,Being neither white nor black?
I think about my mother singing after lunch on a Summer afternoon, twirling in blue dress across the floor of her dressing room
A misadventurer's greatest fear is their mother.