empathy

The Oscar-nominated documentary The Act of Killing tells the story of the gangster leaders who carried out anti-communist purges in Indonesia in 1965 to usher in the regime of Suharto.The film__ hook, which makes it compelling and accessible, is that the filmmakers get Anwar __ne of the death-squad leaders, who murdered around a thousand communists using a wire rope__nd his acolytes to reenact the killings and events around them on film in a variety of genres of their choosing.In the film__ most memorable sequence, Anwar__ho is old now and actually really likable, a bit like Nelson Mandela, all soft and wrinkly with nice, fuzzy gray hair__or the purposes of a scene plays the role of a victim in one of the murders that he in real life carried out.A little way into it, he gets a bit tearful and distressed and, when discussing it with the filmmaker on camera in the next scene, reveals that he found the scene upsetting. The offcamera director asks the poignant question, __hat do you think your victims must__e felt like?_ and Anwar initially almost fails to see the connection. Eventually, when the bloody obvious correlation hits him, he thinks it unlikely that his victims were as upset as he was, because he was __eally_ upset. The director, pressing the film__ point home, says, __eah but it must__e been worse for them, because we were just pretending; for them it was real.__vidently at this point the reality of the cruelty he has inflicted hits Anwar, because when they return to the concrete garden where the executions had taken place years before, he, on camera, begins to violently gag.This makes incredible viewing, as this literally visceral ejection of his self and sickness at his previous actions is a vivid catharsis. He gagged at what he__ done.After watching the film, I thought__s did probably everyone who saw it__ow can people carry out violent murders by the thousand without it ever occurring to them that it is causing suffering? Surely someone with piano wire round their neck, being asphyxiated, must give off some recognizable signs? Like going __uch_ or __top_ or having blood come out of their throats while twitching and spluttering into perpetual slumber?What it must be is that in order to carry out that kind of brutal murder, you have to disengage with the empathetic aspect of your nature and cultivate an idea of the victim as different, inferior, and subhuman. The only way to understand how such inhumane behavior could be unthinkingly conducted is to look for comparable examples from our own lives. Our attitude to homelessness is apposite here.It isn__ difficult to envisage a species like us, only slightly more evolved, being universally appalled by our acceptance of homelessness.__hat? You had sufficient housing, it cost less money to house them, and you just ignored the problem?__hey__ be as astonished by our indifference as we are by the disconnected cruelty of Anwar.

When someone is being particularly mean and nasty, I simply think to myself, he or she used to be a cute little baby, I wonder what happened?

Mostly we think of people with great authority as higher up, far away, hard to reach. But spiritual authority comes from compassion and emerges from deep inner solidarity with those who are 'subject' to authority. The one who is fully like us, who deeply understands our joys and pains or hopes and desires, and who is willing and able to walk with us, that is the one to whom we gladly give authority and whose 'subjects' we are willing to be.It is the compassionate authority that empowers, encourages, calls forth hidden gifts, and enables great things to happen. True spiritual authorities are located in the point of an upside-down triangle, supporting and holding into the light everyone they offer their leadership to.

When you can begin to see the similarities between you and your work colleagues in respect of __eing human_ and the collective challenges we all face, it makes life much easier to deal with, especially when met with overbearing behaviour.

Treat people like people. Beware of pity and patronization because in them, you can't see when you're unashamedly looking down on someone.

When we are in constant pain, we cannot empathize with others, nor can we help them. It is only when we allow ourselves to open up to our own nourishment that we are free to feed the rest of the world. And thus, to attend to one's own suffering is the most selfless act.

The more love you put off to the world in all aspects, the more it will return to you.

The nature of humanity, its essence, is to feel another's pain as one's own, and to act to take that pain away,. There is a nobility in compassion, a beauty in empathy, a grace in forgiveness.

I remember a time in a class on a cold winter morning a Japanese girl came with a surgical mask & I thought __ow people would go to extremes NOT to get sick in Japan_ afterwards on a break I approached her & asked in a cynical manner: why the mask? Are you afraid of catching a cold? & then she said __n Japan you use it when YOU are under the weather & you don__ want other people to get sick, it is the polite thing to do_ wow! that's a lesson I will never forget

When we take into consideration the needs of both ourselves and others, we communicate honestly, compassionately and effectively.

Everything is going to be alright' doesn't mean stubbing your toe won't hurt anymore, but it reinforces that what takes place today, good or bad, is just a small piece of the larger puzzle

I want a future abortion conversation known for its openness, respect and empathy, so instead of generating more heat, anger and conflict, I practice pro-voice.

No single bad person regards themselves as a bad person.

The pleasure or the benefit that the object of our deed derives from it is every now and then greater or even more important than the one we derive from the deed.

I realized I could only play-act at the spiritual life as long as my appetites were stronger than my empathy.

I was trying to keep God's pain at arms length.

The only thing I hate about good people is that they like making their being good people bad people__ problem.

Never give up and never give in. The truth always finds a way to be told.