quips

A nimble sixpence is better than a slow shilling.

While you're saving your face you're losing your ass. Never trust a man whose eyes are too close to his nose. I never trust a man unless I've got his pecker in my pocket. Better inside the tent pissing out than outside the tent pissing in.

In the world of mules there are no rules.

Automatic simply means that you can't repair it yourself.

Heat madam! It was so dreadful that I found there was nothing for it but to take off my flesh and sit in my bones.

We are the people our parents warned us about.

He'd give the devil ulcers.

When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better.

Every director bites the hand that lays the golden egg.

And what's a butterfly? At best He's but a caterpillar drest.

Parsely is gharsley.

Only two things are infinite the universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the former.

If you can't bite don't show your teeth.

In the ant's house the dew is a flood.

Kiss principle: Keep it simple stupid.

Epigram: a wisecrack that has played Carnegie Hall.

Sometimes a cigar is only a cigar.

I don't see what's wrong with giving Bobby a little experience before he starts to practise law.