teenage-angst

May your eye go to the Sun, To the wind your soul... You are all the colors in one, at full brightness.

Most of her friends owned laptops and seemed to spend more time with their phones than anything else. Steffy kept her latest playlists and apps updated frequently. She was a member of what Peter called, The Gadget Generation. She could not imagine what it must have been like before such a time. The unbearable isolation that must have been present. How did people deal with it? When she asked a few older people in the town, they simply said she had too much spare time on her hands. It appeared thinking was a crime in the world she lived

I don't think you feel much of anything anymore.

I'm trying to let him know what I'm about to do.I'm hoping he can save me, even though I realize he can't.

Are you gay, Cherie? Me, No_ I__ not anything_ I-I mean I prefer not to indulge, I stammered.__eally... how do you mean?__ell love has been an elusive story, like a fairytale adults tell children but I have never known any of it to be true. In reality it reminds me of religion. I am not sure God is real either, if God is real why do so many innocents suffer?Innocents suffer because it is their destiny to suffer.What? What does that mean?_ I__ annoyed.God has nothing to do with it. We are born into this world to experience all that is not God-like, so we can then be inspired to reach for higher spiritual goals.I have never thought of it that way before. If that is so then I must be preparing for sainthood. Am I to think that all of my suffering as a child has been to prepare me for greatness?

Ricky was a young boy, he had a heart of stone./Tequila in his heartbeat, his veins burned gasoline./18 and life you got it.

If a society is to preserve stability and a degree of continuity, it must learn how to keep its adolescents from imposing their tastes, values, and fantasies on everyday life.

And scars will lighten, they'll pale unless you keep rubbing at them...wait long enough, they'll fade.

This is what we do. We do crazy shit because we're broken. That's who we are. That's what we do.

It reached a point where the paranoia was getting to me. Everywhere I looked, it seemed like people were hanging out, wanting to date, hooking up, wanting to hook up__t was relationships, relationships, relationships everywhere. Guys checking out girls, girls checking out guys. Dudes checking out dudes, chicks checking out chicks. Fuck! That__ what being a teenager was all about.

You have got to get creative if you want anyone to notice your goddamn teenage angst.

In each club we went the dancers had the same moves, none nearly as sensuous as mine on any dance floor, but because they are scantily clad and stripping off the men go nuts and throw money at them. In the largest club and the last we went to I watched one pretty girl with big boobs pull a handful of twenties in one set. I followed her to the ladies-room to learn she only danced a few rounds per night and averaged $250 every night and with my face and body she said I would bank much more.

We hit every jazz and blues club on and off Bourbon Street, dancing and drinking until we girls were drunk enough to go with the boys to the strip clubs which outnumbered all other businesses in the French Quarter. Here is where my solution unfolded.

In the ensuing silence, I have the time to contemplate the word cute _ how dismissive it is, how it__ the equivalent of calling someone little, how it makes a person into a baby, how the word is a neon sign burning through the dark reading, __eel Bad About Yourself.